Fuck Jizzmodo

I’m not going to go into specifics about what happened, or the timeline of events. If you follow Mac news you know what I’m talking about, if you don’t then here is a quick rundown. Jizzmodo (I hereby refuse to ever type Gizmodo again) posted a story with details and pictures of a purported prototype next-generation iPhone. It was then revealed that Jizzmodo paid an unnamed party who had stolen (yes, stolen) the phone from an Apple engineer for the device. Jizzmodo then felt compelled to publicly humiliate the poor bastard who had the phone stolen from him.

Jizzmodo’s behavior in this matter has been reprehensible, and throughout has been laden with the douchebag attitude that they seem to think passes for wit. And let’s be absolutely clear here. This isn’t an “Apple’s tyrannical secrecy” issue here. It could be any company’s product and I would feel the same way about the shit-smears at Jizz. Because, in the end, it’s not about the leak. I mean, whoop-ti-fucking-do, we now have “confirmation” of a feature set that anyone with a halfway functioning pre-frontal cortex could have predicted. And if you think that the case is something that Jonny Ive would put his name to your exceptionally delusional. It’s about the fact that the cum-guzzlers at Jizzmodo couldn’t be content to just publish the information, they were compelled to try to destroy a man’s career, and possibly life, in the process; laughing all the while like the emotionally arrested pieces of filth that they are.

Honestly, the words necessary to heap the appropriate amount of scorn on these fine examples of pond-scum fail me. At least with Arrington and the jackasses at TechCrunch there is some slight attempt at being more than the National Enquirer of tech journalism. Ultimately, all I can say is this: Fuck you Jizzmodo. Fuck you Nick Denton, Jason Chen, Jesus Diaz, and Brian Lam. You and your narcissistic sociopathy are fine examples of the worst that humanity has to offer. I’m not one to invoke higher powers, but if there is any justice in the world, the day will come when I see you broke, unemployed and sucking off the elderly for crack money. It might actually be an improvement for you.

There, now I feel better.

P.S.I wholly support Craig Hockenberry’s response to this issue. In the end, the only way to hurt these shits is to hit them in the page view.