Denying iPhone Apps…For Science!

Satan’s balls I hate TechCrunch; they truly are the ultimate bottom feeder of the tech industry. One of my favorite tricks that Mike Arrington and his carnival of imbeciles like to pull is the “highlight yet another App Store denial” routine. Today’s example from Roi Carthy, though, is a doozy. The headline reads: Tawkon Measures The Radiation Spewing From Your iPhone. No Wonder Apple Doesn’t Approve It.

The idiocy is summed in the first paragraph.

Here we go again … Apple App Store Fail No. 5102928. A few weeks ago stealth Israeli startup Tawkon gave me a sneak-peak developer build of what I believe is the most important app on my iPhone. What does it do? It analyzes the cellular radiation your iPhone emits at any given moment, at any given location, whether in standby mode, or within a call.

First of all, I’m declaring a fucking fatwa against the use of the word “fail.” You’re (presumably) not a giggling school-girl, stop fucking writing like one. But more to the point, let’s be clear about what this application does. This piece of crap measures the signal strength of the iPhone’s cellular radio, then does some alchemy to determine the level of “EM radiation” you’re being exposed to.

Now, why would you care to know about that. Well simple, there is a huge profit to be made from the whackaloon belief that the electromagnetic radiation output by modern electronic devices is somehow harmful to the human body. I’m going to say this once, so hopefully no one comes here trying to debate this point, if you think that electromagnetic radiation (of the kind produced by cell phones) causes cancer then you are either ignorant, or a loon. Electromagnetic radiation at the frequencies and power levels output by a cell phone are physically incapable of doing damage to the human body.

I honestly don’t care what justification Apple uses to block crap like this. Paranoiac ludditism like this has no place on the iPhone. Fucking deal with it.

As an aside, in doing some Binging (fuck you Google) before writing this, I found a nice random write-up about the issue. Read and be educated.