Lifehacker, Emphasis on the ‘Hack’

It looks like the fucking lack-wits at Lifehacker are still attempting, and miserably failing, to report on technology. Case in point: the execrable piece of crap that Kevin Purdy shat forth today under the headline “Latest iPhones Block Jailbreaking.”

Before I address the article itself I want to make something clear. All of the current processes used to “jailbreak” iPhones (that I know of, correct me if I’m wrong) rely on operating system exploits to do their thing. That’s right kiddos, exploits as in “the shit that the evil crackers use to “pwn” your systems.

So, what heinous crime is Apple has Apple committed this time? From the Lifehacker story:

The Dev-Team and other jailbreak makers have been using an exploit known as 24kpwn to break into the iPhone and obtain deeper access to install new app markets and unlock certain features. A new booting firmware update, iBoot-359.3.2, has been shipped on 3GS models manufactured since last week, however, and a Dev-Team member tells the Boy Genius Report that jailbreaking won’t be possible on the newer units, at least until another exploit is found.

OMFGWTFBBQ!!! Apple patched a known exploit in the OS, why those fucking assholes!! How dare they make the iPhone more secure at the expense of a bunch of whining fuck–wits?!?

More quoting of the terminally dumb:

It’s odd to see Apple spend so much effort on fighting back against a niche group of iPhone enthusiasts, but then again, AT&T has an interest in keeping things like tetherting to a minimum. For the time being, if you’re looking to break into a newer iPhone model, hold off until another exploit is (inevitably) found.

Look you ignominious piece of squirrel vomit, Apple isn’t expending effort to block jailbeaking. They’re patching known, exploitable vulnerabilities in the operating system. If this was the desktop Mac OS you twats would be bitching that it took them this long to patch the hole.

In summary, fuck you Kevin Purdy. Fuck you Lifehacker. And fuck you jailbreaking “community” that would rather see the iPhone remain less secure just so that you can run your craptacular apps.