Breaking: 3G iPhone Based on Alien Technology

I don’t really have any anything else to write about; but I was tired of watching the downward slope on my page hits graph, so here goes. I received a report from a source close to Apple today with incontrovertible proof that the soon-to-be released 3G iPhone will incorporate technology recovered from the alien scoutship that crashed in Roswell, New Mexico in 1947. This technology will not only allow the iPhone to download websites faster than the current “human based” 2G iPhone; but it will also be the first commercial device to add support for the Point to Point Taser Protocol (PPTP). You heard it here first folks.