April 14th, 2008, by The Angry Drunk …The chuckle-heads at Psystar, whose website seems to be down, so here’s a link to the Ars story. It seems these frigtards are selling a Leopard compatible Mac “clone” for four hundred clams. Here’s a quick dramatization of the strategy meeting in Psytar central that resulted in this brave experiment in getting your asses sued off by el jeffe Jobs: GUY 1: gurgle gurgle gurgle inhale.…cough, cough. Hey man, you know what would be really cool? If we slap some commodity PC parts together with an EFI emulator and sell it to run Mac OS X on. GUY 2: Dude, don’t bogart the bong man. Yeah, that would rock, and we could sell it for, like four hundred bucks. GUY 1: Oh yeah man. The proponents of free software will buy these like hotcakes. We’ll be striking a blow for freedom. I don’t know who to pity more. These morons, or any fool who actually orders one of these things. peace out.
March 27th, 2008, by The Angry Drunk There was a post on The Apple Blog today that got me thinking. While I disagree with the conclusions that the author draws, I don’t think that this is a case of the usual blogoratti magical thinking. Rather, I think that there is some fundamental missunderstanding of the current market in video entertainment. The author puts forth the premise that iTunes, as well as streaming video services such as Netflix-streaming, and Amazon Unbox have a “glaring gap” compared with DVD/Blue-Ray when it comes to “additional content,” where by additional content we’re refering to things such as alternate endings, deleted scenes, etc. My take on this is that there isn’t a “gap” between iTunes et al and DVD/Blue-Ray; rather, iTunes et al and DVD/Blue-Ray are actually serving seperate needs. VHS v.s. DVD, a Historical Perspective Admittedly, this isn’t a direct analogy, but I think that it helps to illustrate my point. Odd as it may sound now, when DVD was first introduced there were pundits who claimed that it would fail to topple VHS as a force in the market. One of the reasons provided was that VHS was a read/write media; and people would
Continue reading Instant Gratification v.s. Rich Experience
March 24th, 2008, by The Angry Drunk Just a quick translation from CEO-speak to English of the recent comments from the CEO’s of Mozilla and eMusic (I’m not linking, google them yourselves). Motherfucker! Why didn’t we think of this first.
March 13th, 2008, by The Angry Drunk One could argue that I pick on the kids at The Apple Blog. But, gosh darn it, they make it so easy. Case in point. Today one of the crew over there posed the question, “Should Apple have had a bigger presence at SXSW?” To which I will be glad to provide an answer. No. Here’s the brutal reality kiddos. “Social Media” is a gnat on the windshield of every other person on the planet. Seriously, walk into a bar anywhere in the world, pick a random stranger and ask, “So, what did you think of Scoble’s latest blog post.” I guaran-fucking-tee that the answer will be, “Who the fuck is ‘Scoble’?” followed by, “Who let you out of your parents’ basement.” I know, it sucks, but it’s the truth. You are truly insignificant, and you’ll probably die cold and alone in a pool of your own urine. Life is a bitch, best to kill yourselves now. Cheers!
March 6th, 2008, by The Angry Drunk Today Apple held an event to layout the roadmap for enterprise support and the SDK. I’ll leave the analysis of the event to my betters, mainly because a) I don’t own an iPhone, b) I’m not a developer and c) the morons in charge of “Enterprise IT” where I’m at would first ask if that was a ship captained by a chap named Kirk, then ask if you could help them with the hand they have stuck in a honey jar. Instead I’m going to focus on Ryan Block of Engadget, because he is a fucking tool. Let’s just lay this one out here, since I’m sure the rest of the blogotesseract will be all over this soon enough. Ryan was actually dimwitted enough to ask, during the Q&A following the announcement, if a SIM unlocking application would be something that Apple would allow. Yeah, just let that one sink in a bit. Ryan, we get it, I’ve listened to your crappy podcast. You’re none to fond of Apple. You don’t like iPods. And you’re firmly in the category of fucktards that think that, just because you think that a feature is neato-keen, well then by-cracky the manufacturer
Continue reading Ryan Block: Tool
February 19th, 2008, by The Angry Drunk Sweet beer-battered Christ with a side of cole slaw. For the life of me, I’m trying to figure out what the fuck this is supposed to be about. Seriously, what is the argument here? That the AppleTV needs an ability to play DVDs? I suppose that you can argue that, although I would place that argument firmly in the “if wishes were horses” category. Anyone with two neurons to rub together can see that el jeffe Jobs couldn’t give two shits about letting us access content that we’ve obtained from anywhere other than the iTunes Store. But what, in the name of Cthullu, does the MacBook Air have to do with the price of whores in Reno. Or the digression into the history of Winamp and iTunes. Let me type this as slowly and clearly as I can. Here is Apple’s digital media strategy in 2 bullet points: - Buy shit from the iTunes Store
- Play it on an Apple branded device (iPod, iPhone, Mac, AppleTV, etc)
That’s it. To paraphrase Jeff Goldblum, there ain’t no fucking step 3. Apple has exactly one goal…make money for fucking Apple. Notice how both points in
Continue reading More Dreaming From the Mac Blogosphere.
January 30th, 2008, by The Angry Drunk Ok, I only have the energy for a mico-rant today; so here goes. What the bloody fuck is wrong with so-called technology “reviewers” who cannot for the life of them separate their wants and desires from the fucking product that they are reviewing. Case in point this quote from a “preview” of the new AppleTV 2.0 software in iLounge.com. The only surprise is that the new name seems to exclude Time Capsules or other wireless storage devices as sources for Apple TV. How the fuck is that a “surprise?” Someone please point out to me exactly where in the Expo Keynote Steve Jobs even vaugley implied that such a feature would exist. Would it be a nice feature, abso-fucking-lutely; but let’s try reviewing the actual product that exists, not the one we made up in our heads.
January 15th, 2008, by The Angry Drunk Here are my Macworld predictions: - Apple’s stock will immediately drop after the Keynote, no matter what Steve says
- Dvorak, Ou, and Enderle will write something retarded; Gruber and Welch will verbally abuse them for it.
- The freetards will either a) claim that Apple stole something from FOSS, or b) claim that “Linux has been doing that for years.”
- If Mac hardware is announced, morons will flood Dell’s servers in an attempt to compare the cheapest POS Dell model with whatever his Steveness reveals.
- Someone, somewhere will write, “Worst keynote ever.”
There you go, you heard it here first.
December 12th, 2007, by The Angry Drunk Yes, thwunk. That kids, is the sound of me slamming my head against the keyboard. By the by, ergonomic keyboards are much better on the noggin than standard. And why am I slamming my head into the keyboard you ask. Well it may have something to do with this bit of idiocy from The Apple Blog. The piece purports to be a comparison of Apple’s .Mac service and the various Google offerings, with an attempt to answer the question, “Is Google the next .Mac.” Continue reading Thwunk!!!
December 4th, 2007, by The Angry Drunk Yep, been there done that. via Fake Steve Jobs
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