I Love Dave Winer

this onewant

Don’t hype me. All the ser­vices I see adver­tised on the web are long on hype and clos­ing the deal, but I usu­ally can’t tell what they’re offer­ing. Ridiculous.

This isn’t per­sonal because I think most peo­ple don’t bother to read the

post before responding.

They just read the head­line and maybe skim the body and then start writing.

Makes it really hard to ask a ques­tion that might be even slightly off the

beaten path.

It hasn’t always been this way.

And if you read the other com­ments in this thread, you’ll see almost

every­one else has been doing it, even peo­ple like Stan and Hanan who have

been long­time con­tir­b­u­tors here. They didn’t answer the ques­tion I asked.

They told me what they do. But what I’m try­ing to fig­ure out is how far we

are from ser­vices that can actu­ally solve the prob­lem I’m pos­ing. Creating

an archive of our work that’s inde­pen­dent, afford­able, and long-lasting.

So like I said, this isn’t about you — it’s about *us* — how are we ever

going to work together if even a sim­ple ques­tion can’t be heard.

Scoble

Here’s another quick bit to remind peo­ple that noth­ing that Scoble says is of any par­tic­u­lar worth. If you read any Scooby at all, then you know that he is obsessed with point­less lists. This one though is per­fect as an exam­ple of the fact that Scoble’s opin­ion is essen­tially worth­less. In the arti­cle Robert states that he has a data­base of 11,000 tweets that he has favor­ited since June 2009. Let that num­ber bake into your nog­gin for a bit. Eleven thou­sand tweets favor­ited, not just merely seen by his account. That implies that Robert must have put at least some min­i­mal thought into the content.

Now let’s do some math. By my cal­cu­la­tions, there were 214 days from begin­ning of June 2009 until the end of December. If we assume that Scoble mon­i­tored Twitter every sin­gle one of those 214 days then that gives us 51.4 tweets favor­ited per day. If we then assume that Robert main­tains a twenty-four hour a day vigil, favorit­ing tweets like some sort of New Media Douchebag machine, then that works out to 2.14 tweets favor­ited per hour.

I keep stress­ing the “favor­ited” part of the equa­tion, because it’s impor­tant to remember

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Scoble Explains It All…Incorrectly

While I was in the midst of my lat­est attempt to prove that a man can be pow­ered by ethanol alone, Betanews ran an utterly retarded opin­ion piece by Joe Wilcox titled: The world doesn’t need an Apple tablet, or any other. There is much that is fun­da­men­tally wrong with Joe’s piece, but I don’t want to talk about that. Fortunately I don’t have to talk about Joe’s errors because the tech pun­di­tards sal­lied forth en masse

In a pre­co­cious bit of blo­g­or­rhea titled: Robert springs to the defense of the tablet plat­form. Sadly, he also demon­strates that what Robert Scoble under­stands about tech­nol­ogy could be writ­ten in twenty-four point font on the back of a postage stamp; with room to spare.

Robert’s attempt to defend the maiden honor or the tablet takes the form of a litany of suc­cess­ful tablet com­put­ing devices that have already suc­ceeded in the mar­ket. Items he refers to include:

  • A touch-screen Point of Sale terminal
  • The touch-screen inter­face of his “Oh aren’t I so much bet­ter than you peo­ple” 2010 Prius
  • The touch-screen inter­face of a gas pump (ironic given the above example)
  • Some touch-screen shit in a Chinese taxi cab

Anyone else notice the pat­tern here? Robert has con­flated a touch-screen inter­face with tablet form-factor com­put­ing. Here’s a clue Scooby: Lots of devices uti­lize a touch-screen. Some have been suc­cess­ful, some not so much, but merely pos­sess­ing a touch-screen does not make a device a “tablet com­puter” you fuck­ing igno­ra­mus. Seriously, go back to hawk­ing cam­eras. Hell, some of them now even have touch-screen inter­faces. Your vast expe­ri­ence with tablet com­put­ing will serve you well.

A New Low for TechCrunch

Gods know I hate TechCrunch. Fuck, they’re prob­a­bly respon­si­ble for at least a third of the mate­r­ial for the Angry Mac Bastards pod­cast. But yes­ter­day, TechCrunch and Erik Schonfeld sank to an abysmal new low.

Whatever the moti­va­tion, the arti­cle is rep­re­hen­si­ble. Seriously, how dare a jumped up tabloid like TechCrunch crit­i­cize DeviantART. It’s true that a large chunk of the mate­r­ial on DeviantART is, to be hon­est, crap, but so what. At least the peo­ple post­ing there are try­ing to express them­selves artis­ti­cally. I’d rather see a bil­lion more gay, furry, S&M, Picard/Kirk fan-fiction sto­ries than one more piece of tex­tual feces shat forth from the key­boards of the pre­ten­tious twats at TechCrunch.

Terminology Matters

Everyone’s favorite cranky old jack­ass Dave Winer is all a’flutter about WordPress and Tumblr imple­ment­ing the Twitter API in a post titled How open stan­dards are cre­ated. The meat of his post is a bunch of typ­i­cal Winer bull­shit about how won­der­ful it is that WordPress and Tumblr have imple­mented the Twitter API (which is true) and how that fact may well make the Twitter API and open standard.

I’m going to ignore, for the time being, the patent absur­dity of Dave’s asser­tion. Last time I checked, for some­thing to be an “open stan­dard” it had to be both open, which The Twitter API hardly is; and a stan­dard, which I don’t think being used by your­self, and two blog host­ing com­pa­nies qual­i­fies as. It’s not really that that irks me about this piece.

What bugs me here is some­thing that Winer does inces­santly, and really chaps my ass. He com­pletely mis­uses and con­flates two dif­fer­ent tech­ni­cal terms. To quote:

If Facebook were to imple­ment the Twitter API that would be it. We’d have another FTP or HTTP or RSS.

No, Dave we wouldn’t. The Twitter API is just that, an Application Programming Interface. FTP, HTTP and RSS are

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Old Media Douchebag

Nothing warms the cock­les of my dark heart more than see­ing the “Old Media” shiv “New Media” in the kidneys.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1dyRFhRHbY

Hat tip to Lauren Feldman at 1938 Media for the link

Why Ignoring New Media Douchebags Is the Best Decision You Can Make

The other day I noticed this bit of fluff from everyone’s favorite ex-camera sales­man, Bobby Scoble: Dying career: traf­fic heli­copter pilot. On the sur­face, there isn’t rally much to say about the piece. It’s the usual tripe where Scooby takes “2” adds it to “B” and comes up with “yel­low.” In this case he takes an Associated Press arti­cle about how advanc­ing tech­nolo­gies are replac­ing the ven­er­a­ble traf­fic heli­copter and lurches off into yet another manic rim-job for the next-big-thing.

Now, I could rant about how mind-fuckingly stu­pid you would have to be to rely solely on crowd-sourced traf­fic updates, but that isn’t really what I want to focus on here. What I want to do is use this as an exam­ple of how gob-smackingly stu­pid you have to be to pay the slight­est atten­tion to the New Media Douchebags, even more-so if you are a com­pany tak­ing busi­ness advice from these twats.

And why, you ask, is it so bad to heed the advice of the NMD’s. Here’s why my chum. These douchenoz­zles, who claim to under­stand “the end users,” have their heads rammed so far up their insu­lar, Silicon Valley asses that you would have

Continue read­ing Why Ignoring New Media Douchebags Is the Best Decision You Can Make


Noise

A while back in one of the Angry Mac Bastards pod­casts I pos­tu­lated that Scoble’s Twitter favorites can’t pos­si­bly be of any worth, since he can’t pos­si­bly be pay­ing the slight­est atten­tion to what he favorites. Consider the num­bers that he states in the linked blog post. 7,000 favorites in two months? By the most gen­er­ous math that comes out to 116 favorites a day. Now go look at the list of favorites on that blog post. At the time I’m writ­ing this, there is only one tweet out of the twenty there that is even arguably not mar­ket­ing chaff. I seri­ously doubt that will change.

Is Mike Arrington Still a Dick?

Is Mike Arrington a Dick?

For the first time since mat­ter coa­lesced from the energy soup that fol­lowed the Big Bang, the answer to that ques­tion has changed from “yes” to “no.” For, you see, Mike Arrington has man­aged to tran­scend the bonds of mere dick­dom and has risen to new heights of douchebag­gery.

It’s not even the fact that Phlegminton chose to pub­lish the stolen Twitter doc­u­ments that has my spleen up. I mean, it’s Mike Arrington, did any­one think that he wouldn’t

Adding insult to injury, Mucosal Mike’s jus­ti­fi­ca­tion essen­tially boils down to, “if we don’t pub­lish, some­one else will, so we might as well get there first.” As my friend John Welch is fond of say­ing, that is sev­enth grade logic. Just because Billy is going to hit a puppy doesn’t mean you’re morally jus­ti­fied in kick­ing a baby.

So, in order to calm down I’m going to go back to that men­tal image of Arrington being greeted by the Fox News Rape Demon. Enjoy the eter­nal sodomy you chump, at least it won’t try to shake your hand.