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  Sometimes the New Media Douchebag circus is too good for the freak-show and needs to be in the main ring. Case in point, today’s twaddle from Dave “Cranky-Pants” Winer, Dear Apple, re your boycott of Flash. Ooh, goody, goody gumdrops. It’s criticism in epistle form; my favorite thing. Continue reading Dave You Ignorant Slut Cross posted from Dave Winer’s Crazy Train… So, let’s get this straight. Uncle Dave doesn’t like the rough-and-tumble nature of blog commentary (a reasonable position to take, I hate you pricks too), but he’s too narcissistic do without the fawning admiration of strangers. What’s a New Media Douchebag to do? Well, if you’re Dave Winer, you come up with…this. Please, for the love of fuck, someone implement this so I can properly laugh at it. Continue reading Crazy Uncle Dave (Re)Invents Comments Taking a page from the playbook of John “mother of all tools” Dowdell, Dave Winer has declared that he will no longer tolerate off-topic discussion and mindless Apple fanboyism on his precious blog. Of course, in Dave’s world “off-topic” means “doesn’t agree with my sage wisdom” and “mindless Apple fanboyism” means “in any way approving of Apple.” Look Dave, we get it, people disagreeing with you irritates you. I mean, good gods people, don’t you know who this is? This is Dave Winer. The “proto-blogger!” Having your narcissistic and ill-thought-out bullshit pointed out to you must be agonizing. I’d suggest dispensing with comments entirely, but then how would you get your fix of sycophantic cock-sucking? A man can’t live by his achievements alone for fuck’s sake! I haven’t taken New Media Douchebag Anil Dash to task here yet, but I ran across a blog post by Anil that I couldn’t pass up. Not necessarily because the article was particularly bad (although it is) but because it’s emblematic of something that I see constantly amongst the New Media Douchebag collective. In fact, this trait may well be one of the core defining aspects of the quintessential New Media Douchebag. Specifically, it’s the utter and complete inability of the New Media Douchebag to realize that they are pontificating about a subject that the are woefully ill-prepared to discuss. Continue reading Dunning-Kruger and the New Media Douchebag It’s been a while since I bagged on the crankiest man in technology, Dave Winer, but he posted something recently that called out for abuse. In a blog post titled Why Angry Birds is so much fun Dave attempts to figure out why the iPad/iPhone game Angry Birds is so much fun. Of course, being a socially maladapted freak, he gets it wrong in a spectacularly horrendous fashion. Continue reading Wednesday Whackaloon: Dave Winer While I grind out the soul crushing weeks until I can actually have my iPad I’ve been waiting for that one special iPad article that would unleash my creative rage. The blog post with that certain something that would push it above the general morass of inanity that we’ll be screaming about on Ye Olde Angry Mac Bastards podcast this week. Thank Satan for that cranky old fuckwit Dave Winer for stepping up to the plate for me. The headline is: Is iPad a game-changer? Of course, with that headline you know you’re in for a world of stupid. First we have the classic troll method of presenting your thesis in the form of the negative response to the question you’ve posed. Of course Dave Winer doesn’t think that the iPad is a game changer, only a drooling fool would ever expect that. Also, side note to Dave: “is the iPad a game changer?” Fuck man, articles aren’t just the things that you pretend to read Playboy for! Second, who gives a monkey’s fuck if the iPad is a “game-changer”? What the fuck is a “game-changer” anyway. Try evaluating the iPad based on something other than strawman Apparently he isn’t getting enough SXSW love. I can only say: Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha! I’m bored, and the non-stop torrent of Apple Unicorn rumor-mongering interests me not one bit; so I think I take some time to point out yet another example of Dave Winer’s ongoing campaign to prove that he knows fuck-all about technology. I’ve written about this before, but this example was too good to pass up. In an article titled Twitter is SMS 2.0 Dave puts forth the thesis that Twitter is to SMS as blogging is to the web. Hilariously, that analogy is absolutely correct, but not in the way that Dave thinks it is. Dave is proposing that Twitter is an evolution of or replacement to SMS in the same way that blogging is an evolution of or replacement to the web. To quote the curmudgeon:
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