January 12th, 2010, by The Angry Drunk Supposedly Erica Sadun is some sort of high potentate of the iPhone development community, which I guess explains why publications like The Unofficial Apple Weblog (TUAW) go to her for commentary. But, given the fact that she has the logical skills of a young-earth creationist, they should really stop. Case in point: an article posted today on TUAW titled App Store approvals and the tablet: why it matters. That’s right kiddies, it’s another article about unicorns. Erica starts out with an observation: When iTunes Connect returned after its Christmas break, developers noticed that things had changed quite a bit on the App Store approval front. Applications that had formerly taken ten to fourteen days to work through review were now getting processed in a couple of days or less. The upshot? Happier developers, better bug releases for users, and a healthier App Store ecosystem. Good so far, this is factual and draws a conclusion that follows logically from the premise. The rail-jumping begins immediately after: There’s another consequence of the new, speedier approvals: the tablet. With the device due to ship March/April (late Q1, early Q2), and no announced 4.0 SDK, developers were left wondering how
Continue reading Erica Sadun: Nostradumbass
January 6th, 2010, by The Angry Drunk For the love of Satan, is it really too much to ask that sites that purport to report on technical matters do at least a little research or even have the slightest clue about what they’re talking about? Case in point: this article by Stan Schroeder on Mashable. I really don’t give two shits about the fact that Roy Batty’s great-grandpappy runs Flash, but this quote enrages me. If you’re an iPhone owner, you probably don’t want to hear about Flash. Full support for Adobe’s rich media technology has been promised for the iPhone many times, but it’s still not there yet. Really Stan? Full support for Flash on the iPhone has been promised? Who made those fucking promises Stan? Because it sure as hell wasn’t Apple. You know Apple, don’t you Stan? The mother-fuckers who control every bit of software that makes it onto the iPhone. For fuck’s sake, how hard is it really to actually have some minimal understanding about a topic before you start spouting off about it? At this rate I might as well start a blog detailing my experiences as a poor black share-cropper in 1940’s Alabama. I have about as much experience with
Continue reading Huhwhat?
December 30th, 2009, by The Angry Drunk Gods know I hate TechCrunch. Fuck, they’re probably responsible for at least a third of the material for the Angry Mac Bastards podcast. But yesterday, TechCrunch and Erik Schonfeld sank to an abysmal new low. In the article, which is so disjointed and pointless that it makes the average third – grader’s book report look like a master’s thesis, Shonfeld castigates DeviantART (an online artistic community composed of user – submitted works) for the fact that the one hundred millionth user submission, or “deviation” as they are styled, happens to be a gay sex story. I honestly can’t get what Shonfeld is going on about here. Is he offended by the subject matter, or just jealous that the people at DeviantArt actually produce something other than propaganda for Google and endless comedy material for those of us bagging on the CrunchPad? Or, as is most likely given that this is TecCrunch, is he just trolling for links to keep his master Arrington from busting out the cat-o-nine-tails and punishment dildo? Whatever the motivation, the article is reprehensible. Seriously, how dare a jumped up tabloid like TechCrunch criticize DeviantART. It’s true that a large chunk of the material on DeviantART
Continue reading A New Low for TechCrunch
December 8th, 2009, by The Angry Drunk Since essentially Day One of the iPhone saga there have been constant complaints about AT&T’s service. While I reject the a priori conclusion that any network that merely possesses the property of “not-AT&T” would necessarily be better, no one in their right mind would attempt to argue that everything has been rainbows and unicorn jizzum. That’s why it’s heartening to see things like the email I received recently from AT&T informing me of a new cell tower being deployed in my neighborhood, or the release of the AT&T Marks the Spot app in the App Store [iTunes link]. It’s a brilliant idea really, use the power of crowd-sourcing to gather the data needed to efficiently upgrade your infrastructure. Scoble must be giddy. Of course, nothing can appease the perpetual whiners and AT&T bashers; so The Unofficial Apple Web Log ran this turd by Mel Martin yesterday: AT&T offers app so you can report crappy service. Huh? The dumb starts quickly: In one of life’s supreme ironies, AT&T today posted an iPhone app that allows you to report substandard service. That’s right folks. Got a dropped call? No reception? AT&T Marks the Spot … is designed to get that
Continue reading Damned if You Do…
November 20th, 2009, by The Angry Drunk No sooner do I comment on the overly credulous commentary being offered up by the techno-sphere regarding the ChromeOS announcement than I notice this wretchedly mis-titled article over at TechCrunch: “Google Is Keeping Chrome OS Simple. Maybe Too Simple.” Now, to be fair, this is Erick Schonfeld, and his deep abiding love of the Google-cock is well documented, so I shouldn’t be surprised. But quotes like this really take things to a new level: Rather than support Android apps and other sorts of apps, there is only one kind of app Google is interested in: the Web app. Chrome OS is all about making Web apps the only apps you will ever need. Which kind of makes you wonder how long we’ll need Android apps, or iPhone apps for that matter, because you know it is only a matter of time before a phone comes out running on Chrome OS. Seriously, Chrome web apps are now going to eradicate standalone Android or iPhone apps? The same web apps that Steve Jobs proposed two years ago and was widely, and rightly derided over? Web apps certainly have their place, but to even suggest that a phone running nothing
Continue reading Case in Point
November 16th, 2009, by The Angry Drunk
PC World doubles down on the stupid. Fuck you Ian Paul you cheap twat.
November 16th, 2009, by The Angry Drunk So, the dip-shits at Psystar had their day in court, and the court punched them square in the junk. You can read all about the legal decision at Groklaw. But I don’t want to write about the decision itself. Suffice it to say that I agree with the Groklaw analysis. No, I want to comment on the absolutely execrable commentary on the decision from the retards at PC World. As always with this sort of puke, the stupid starts right away with the headline: Apple Wins Hollow Victory In Psystar Ruling Really, a “hollow victory?” I rather imagine that Apple doesn’t see the absolute destruction of Psystar as a “hollow victory.” Nor do I imagine that they’re anything but orgasmic to have a court uphold their arguments regarding the enforceability of the OS X End User License Agreement (EULA) as it pertains to third-party resellers. So, overall not so “hollow” after all. But the stupid don’t stop there. The first paragraph re-introduces us to an old friend: A federal judge has ruled in Apple’s favor in its lawsuit against Mac-clone maker Psystar. Prevailing in the court battle seems like it should be a good thing, but what Apple
Continue reading Ride of the Entitletards
October 23rd, 2009, by The Angry Drunk Presented, without additional comment, the opening paragraph of Rob’s latest flight of fancy: This is likely to point with Apple this month as they sit stunned that Windows 7 is doing so well and they are left looking foolish with products priced out of the segment. Their big news this week was a couple of PCs, a new keyboard and a multi-touch mouse. This last will likely go down in history as one of the lamest devices yet as they should know, given the iPhone, that touch is connected to the screen and not anything else. They likely would have done better putting fir on the damn thing and building it to fart the star spangled banner at least that would have been patriotic. Can someone check and make sure that Rob isn’t having a psychotic episode?
September 2nd, 2009, by The Angry Drunk I debated doing a proper tear – down of this piece of self – indulgent tripe from the usually a bit more astute than this Merlin Mann. It certainly has all of the tropes that send me into paroxysms of rage: Apple as cult, the implication that Snow Leopard is just a “service pack,” the inability to understand Apple’s marketing of Snow Leopard, douchebaggy faux – conversations between the author and an anthropomorphized Apple. Really, it’s a New Media Douchefestival of delights. But I just can’t bring myself to do it. Instead I’ll offer just a few thoughts. I get it Merlin, you’re an idiot who rushed into an OS upgrade because, like every other dip – shit in the tech punditocracy, you are obsessed with the new shiny and, like a fucking raccoon, you can’t resist grabbing for it. I get that, again like the rest of the punditocracy you aren’t capable of listening when Apple said clearly that Snow Leopard was not going to be about new features (except for Exchange). I get that it’s easier to blame Apple instead of your beloved developers who couldn’t be arsed to upgrade their software in time for Snow Leopard,
Continue reading Wah, Wah, Wah Goes the Pundit.
August 17th, 2009, by The Angry Drunk Presented, for your moral outrage, one Antonin Scalia, who is of the opinion that innocence is no barrier to imposing the death penalty. There is so much to be said about this topic. but I have neither the time nor the available blood pressure. I will, however offer these brief thoughts: This is the true face of the conservative movement in America. It’s not the deluded and delusional tools who answer Fox News’ call to disrupt healthcare town halls. It’s not the closet racists who are fast running out of slurs to throw at President Obama, and who seethe in frustration at the fact that a nigger is in the White House. It’s not even the corporate douchebags who are willing to play nice with anyone as long as the profits keep rolling in. All these are either tools or opportunists. The true face of American conservative thought are men like Antonin Scalia. Men who are so absolutely amoral, that to call them “evil” is an insult to true evil. These are men who are so morally bankrupt, so locked into their psychotic fear of losing status and power that they are essentially sociopaths. These men cannot be reasoned
Continue reading Death Panels and Advocate Judges
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