October 12th, 2010, by The Angry Drunk 
There is an interim phase in the lifecycle of an invented Apple scandal. Once the hacks in the blogosphere begin amplifying and distorting the original bullshit story, a (usually) heretofore unheard of company surfaces with “hard” data that somehow purports to reinforce the “Apple has a design flaw” meme. In this case the company is SquareTrade. And what’s SquareTrade’s stake in this? They sell accidental damage warranties — surprise, surprise. The key part, though, of phase 1.5 is that it allows publications that knew better than to report on the bullshit unsourced allegations that began the cycle to get in on the action and maintain a veneer of respectability. Continue reading Phase 1.5 of The “Apple Scandal” Lifecycle Begins
October 7th, 2010, by The Angry Drunk
Today I had the privilege of witnessing something rarely glimpsed in the wild. An event so rare it’s akin to seeing a snow leopard (the cat, not the operating system) perform a back-flip. For the first time in my career I was present at the exact moment that a New Media Douchebag attempted to start another lame Apple “scandal.” Continue reading One for the Bucket-List, I Witness A “Scandal” Being Born
September 9th, 2010, by The Angry Drunk 
Whatever.
September 1st, 2010, by The Angry Drunk 
Last week I tallied up my predictions on the predictions being made for the annual Apple September Music event by the rumorsphere. Now that the event is come and gone it’s time to grade my performance, and the performance of the rumormongers in general. Before I begin though, I think I need to clarify what I’m up to with these rumor predictions posts. First of all, the items that I list are not my predictions. They are the predictions being bandied about by the punditsphere. Secondly, the percentage values that I assign are completely pulled from my ass, often for comedic effect. That said, let’s see how we did. Continue reading Apple Special Event Predictions — the Results
July 23rd, 2010, by The Angry Drunk 
If you haven’t heard the news, Apple has delayed the white iPhone yet again; this time to “later this year” which, as we all know is Apple-talk for December 31’st. All joking aside, if the media is looking for a story to play up the “Apple is run by incompetent designtards” there you go. Announcing a product and not being able to ship it for upwards of six months is pathetic. Where’s my press conference mother-fuckers? I’m going to buy a Droid X out of spite.
July 16th, 2010, by The Angry Drunk
I wasn’t present at Friday’s special iPhone 4 Press Conference held by Apple at their Cupertino Campus, but I followed the excellent live coverage from Jason Snell at Macworld. Ignoring the specifics of the announcements (spoiler: there is no fucking recall you fucktards), one thing jumped out at me: Steve Jobs was palpably angry with the media. Continue reading Why Steve Jobs Is (Legitimately) Pissed at the Media
June 22nd, 2010, by The Angry Drunk
Yesterday, like a good lemming I updated my iPhone 3G to the newly released and re-named iOS 4. For whatever odd reason it seems that you people are interested in my opinion on such things — which frankly is more than a little disturbing — so here are my random thoughts on the update process itself, as well as running a nearly 2 year old phone with Apple’s newest operating system. Note that this will not be anything approximating a full review of iOS 4. If you want something like that I highly suggest that you read the excellent review from Ars Technica. The Update Process First some notes on the update process itself. I’m happy to report that, unlike many who were upgrading an iPhone 3G, my upgrade went relatively quickly. All told it was probably an hour start-to-finish, but that doesn’t count time spent sitting idle waiting for my input while I buggered off for dinner. That said, the iPhone upgrade process as managed though iTunes is fucking interminable. I’m not yet one of those people who call for the splitting of iTunes into multiple seperate applications, but I’m getting there. During the entire process, which consists
Continue reading iPhone 3G iOS 4 Upgrade Aftermath
June 7th, 2010, by The Angry Drunk
Well, there you have it. The WWDC 2010 Keynote has come and gone. The big news, of course, was the new iPhone 4. Additionally Steve Jobs talked about the newly renamed iOS 4 and minor updates to iBooks on the iPad. I’m not going to bother running down the features of the new OS, Apple covered that during the special event earlier this year. Nor am I going to go through a detailed list of the specs of the new iPhone. You can get a good run-down of that at Ars Technica. What I do want to talk about are my impressions of some of the announcements, and in particular, the reactions to them. Continue reading WWDC 2010 Roundup
May 5th, 2010, by The Angry Drunk I ran across this article on TechCrunch by M.G. Seigler regarding a recent statement made by Adobe’s CTO Kevin Lynch. Regarding, what else, the iPhone and Apple’s refusal to allow applications built using Flash on the platform. Kevin’s full remarks are available here, but here is the part that M.G. focuses on, and that I want to address: But look at the iPhone helicopter we just saw — why should I only be able to use an iPhone for that? Why can’t you do that with any phone? If you look at what’s going on now, it’s like railroads in the 1800’s. People were using different gauged rails. Your cars would literally not run on those rails. That’s counter to the web. The ‘rails’ now are companies forcing people to write for a particular OS, which has a high cost to switch
M.G. does an adequate job of demonstrating why Lynch is wrong by delving into the history of the U.S. railroad system and by looking at the Japanese model, but he makes the mistake of accepting the metaphor in the first place. Lynch is crafting a metaphor where the development environment used to produce smart — phone
Continue reading Adobe’s Messed Up Metaphors
May 5th, 2010, by The Angry Drunk
From the Christian Science Monitor. It’s nice to see someone “get it” in regards to the JizzmodoPhone saga. H/T to John Gruber.
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