Fixing the App Store

I began working on this article several months ago, but other things took priority and I pretty much forgot about it. The recent bout of blogorrhea over Apple and its DRACONIAN CONROL!! of the App Store prompted me to dust it off. For the record, I am in agreement with those who argue that there [...]

Shut Up About the App Store You Nerds!

Thank Satan for Kara Swisher. It’s always refreshing to see someone call out the blogosphere for being a bunch of whiny link-baiting blowhards. At this point, the breathless faux-outrage displayed every time Apple demonstrates that they couldn’t give a fuck what the blogtards think is becoming pathetic.

My Predictions – Unicorn Edition

The day of days is upon us, so I thought I’d do a quick run-down of the various rumors that have been bandied about. I’m also going to give my estimation on the likelihood of said prediction coming true.

The Calm Before the Storm

Well, my lovelies, tomorrow all will be revealed. I’m about to ensconce myself within the meditation chamber of the Fortress of Disquietude until the magic hour is upon us. See you on the other side.

Erica Rides the Crazy Train, Again

As if to taunt me, TUAW just ran another article from prognosticator extraordinaire Erica Sadun that boggles the mind: Enough already with the draconian NDAs, Apple. This time, instead of consulting her crystal ball about the mythical iTablet, Erica takes time out of her busy schedule of huffing glue to complain about the NDA that [...]

Erica Sadun: Nostradumbass

Supposedly Erica Sadun is some sort of high potentate of the iPhone development community, which I guess explains why publications like The Unofficial Apple Weblog (TUAW) go to her for commentary. But, given the fact that she has the logical skills of a young-earth creationist, they should really stop. Case in point: an article posted [...]

I've Seen Things You People Wouldn't Believe

The greater techno-sphere got their collective panties in a twist this weekend over the quasi-unveiling of the rumored Google Phone. I’m not going to link to any of the coverage, I’m lazy and you all can use a search engine just fine, but it behooves me as an opinionated cock-sucker and general bastard to throw [...]

Damned if You Do...

Since essentially Day One of the iPhone saga there have been constant complaints about AT&T’s service. While I reject the a priori conclusion that any network that merely possesses the property of “not-AT&T” would necessarily be better, no one in their right mind would attempt to argue that everything has been rainbows and unicorn jizzum. [...]

App Store Shenanigans Part Eleventy Billion

Jason Snell at Macworld writes about the bullshit that Macworld went though to get an eBook version of their iPhone and iPod Touch Superguide published to the App Store. Every time that someone reveals the details of this process it reinforces to me my belief that the fundamental flaw in how Apple is handling the [...]

Get Google’s Cock Out of Your Mouth You Tool

Erick Schonfeld takes one deep and works the ballsack today with this: Google Should Make Apple Beg For Maps Navigation. Choice quote:

When Google announced what is clearly the best car navigation application on any mobile today, it didn’t just take a swipe at GPS navigation companies such as Garmin and TomTom. It took a swipe [...]



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