By The Angry Drunk
 Last week I tallied up my predictions on the predictions being made for the annual Apple September Music event by the rumorsphere. Now that the event is come and gone it’s time to grade my performance, and the performance of the rumormongers in general. Before I begin though, I think I need to clarify what I’m up to with these rumor predictions posts. First of all, the items that I list are not my predictions. They are the predictions being bandied about by the punditsphere. Secondly, the percentage values that I assign are completely pulled from my ass, often for comedic effect. That said, let’s see how we did.
Continue reading Apple Special Event Predictions – The Results
By The Angry Drunk
 If you haven’t heard the news, Apple has delayed the white iPhone yet again; this time to “later this year” which, as we all know is Apple-talk for December 31′st.
All joking aside, if the media is looking for a story to play up the “Apple is run by incompetent designtards” there you go. Announcing a product and not being able to ship it for upwards of six months is pathetic. Where’s my press conference mother-fuckers?
I’m going to buy a Droid X out of spite.
By The Angry Drunk
I wasn’t present at Friday’s special iPhone 4 Press Conference held by Apple at their Cupertino Campus, but I followed the excellent live coverage from Jason Snell at Macworld. Ignoring the specifics of the announcements (spoiler: there is no fucking recall you fucktards), one thing jumped out at me: Steve Jobs was palpably angry with the media.
Continue reading Why Steve Jobs Is (Legitimately) Pissed at the Media
By The Angry Drunk
Yesterday, like a good lemming I updated my iPhone 3G to the newly released and re-named iOS 4. For whatever odd reason it seems that you people are interested in my opinion on such things — which frankly is more than a little disturbing — so here are my random thoughts on the update process itself, as well as running a nearly 2 year old phone with Apple’s newest operating system. Note that this will not be anything approximating a full review of iOS 4. If you want something like that I highly suggest that you read the excellent review from Ars Technica.
The Update Process
First some notes on the update process itself. I’m happy to report that, unlike many who were upgrading an iPhone 3G, my upgrade went relatively quickly. All told it was probably an hour start-to-finish, but that doesn’t count time spent sitting idle waiting for my input while I buggered off for dinner. That said, the iPhone upgrade process as managed though iTunes is fucking interminable. I’m not yet one of those people who call for the splitting of iTunes into multiple seperate applications, but I’m getting there.
During the entire process, which
Continue reading iPhone 3G iOS 4 Upgrade Aftermath
By The Angry Drunk
Well, there you have it. The WWDC 2010 Keynote has come and gone. The big news, of course, was the new iPhone 4. Additionally Steve Jobs talked about the newly renamed iOS 4 and minor updates to iBooks on the iPad. I’m not going to bother running down the features of the new OS, Apple covered that during the special event earlier this year. Nor am I going to go through a detailed list of the specs of the new iPhone. You can get a good run-down of that at Ars Technica. What I do want to talk about are my impressions of some of the announcements, and in particular, the reactions to them.
Continue reading WWDC 2010 Roundup
By The Angry Drunk
I ran across this article on TechCrunch by M.G. Seigler regarding a recent statement made by Adobe’s CTO Kevin Lynch. Regarding, what else, the iPhone and Apple’s refusal to allow applications built using Flash on the platform. Kevin’s full remarks are available here, but here is the part that M.G. focuses on, and that I want to address:
But look at the iPhone helicopter we just saw — why should I only be able to use an iPhone for that? Why can’t you do that with any phone? If you look at what’s going on now, it’s like railroads in the 1800′s. People were using different gauged rails. Your cars would literally not run on those rails. That’s counter to the web. The ‘rails’ now are companies forcing people to write for a particular OS, which has a high cost to switch
M.G. does an adequate job of demonstrating why Lynch is wrong by delving into the history of the U.S. railroad system and by looking at the Japanese model, but he makes the mistake of accepting the metaphor in the first place.
Lynch is crafting a metaphor where the development environment used to produce smart—phone
Continue reading Adobe’s Messed Up Metaphors
By The Angry Drunk
From the Christian Science Monitor.
It’s nice to see someone “get it” in regards to the JizzmodoPhone saga.
H/T to John Gruber.
By The Angry Drunk
Amidst the generic sense of rage that the whole JizzmodoPhone debacle has engendered in me, I find myself amused by one thing. I find it hilarious that a large chunk of the tech media now uncritically accepts that the phone that Jizzmodo has in it’s possession is completely, and without any possibility of change, the phone that Apple will introduce this summer.
Let’s analyze this assumption in detail. First, let’s go ahead and assume that this phone isn’t some sort of nefarious Apple PR stunt (because it isn’t you rubes), and let’s further assume that it is a prototype of a future Apple iPhone. Why is it, other than sheer ignorance, that people assume that this phone, in it’s exact condition, is the next generation iPhone?
Of course, the answer is actually fairly simple. Most “tech journalists” have about as much understanding of actual technology as my cocker spaniel. For the uninitiated, there are three general areas that would need to be prototyped for a new iPhone: the electronics, the operating system and the remaining hardware. In a normal manufacturing process all three of these items would be prototyped separately with a very small number of final prototypes representing
Continue reading Atomic iPhone
By The Angry Drunk
I’m not going to go into specifics about what happened, or the timeline of events. If you follow Mac news you know what I’m talking about, if you don’t then here is a quick rundown. Jizzmodo (I hereby refuse to ever type Gizmodo again) posted a story with details and pictures of a purported prototype next-generation iPhone. It was then revealed that Jizzmodo paid an unnamed party who had stolen (yes, stolen) the phone from an Apple engineer for the device. Jizzmodo then felt compelled to publicly humiliate the poor bastard who had the phone stolen from him.
Jizzmodo’s behavior in this matter has been reprehensible, and throughout has been laden with the douchebag attitude that they seem to think passes for wit. And let’s be absolutely clear here. This isn’t an “Apple’s tyrannical secrecy” issue here. It could be any company’s product and I would feel the same way about the shit-smears at Jizz. Because, in the end, it’s not about the leak. I mean, whoop-ti-fucking-do, we now have “confirmation” of a feature set that anyone with a halfway functioning pre-frontal cortex could have predicted. And if you think that the case is something that Jonny Ive would
Continue reading Fuck Jizzmodo
By The Angry Drunk
As most people reading this site know, Apple held an event last Thursday to announce iPhone OS 4.0 and preview some of it’s features. Now that I’ve had some time to digest the announcement I’ll relay my thoughts. Keeping in mind that the message being delivered last Thursday was meant as much for developers as it was for end users; I thought that, overall, iPhone OS 4.0 looks like a solid release. Much like OS 3.0 before it, iPhone OS 4.0 contains few, if any, groundbreaking new interface metaphors or user features. Most of the new features will really only make their mark in the form of the applications that make use of them, but they will have a large impact on the iPhone/iPod Touch/iPad experience.
Continue reading Thoughts on iPhone OS 4.0
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Brother, can you spare a dime?
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