Winer Swings and Misses…Again

I’m bored, and the non-stop tor­rent of Apple Unicorn rumor-mongering inter­ests me not one bit; so I think I take some time to point out yet another exam­ple of Dave Winer’s ongo­ing cam­paign to prove that he knows fuck-all about tech­nol­ogy. I’ve writ­ten about this before, but this exam­ple was too good to pass up.

In an arti­cle titled Twitter is SMS 2.0 Dave puts forth the the­sis that Twitter is to SMS as blog­ging is to the web. Hilariously, that anal­ogy is absolutely cor­rect, but not in the way that Dave thinks it is. Dave is propos­ing that Twitter is an evo­lu­tion of or replace­ment to SMS in the same way that blog­ging is an evo­lu­tion of or replace­ment to the web. To quote the curmudgeon:

There was the web and then there was Web 2.0. The dif­fer­ence is dimen­sion. The first ver­sion of the web, though it was never the inten­tion of the designer, was one-way. Publishing was hard, very few peo­ple did it. Lots of read­ing, not much writ­ing. Blogging changed all that, writ­ing got very easy, then richer, to the point where lots of pro­fes­sional pub­li­ca­tions now use blog­ging soft­ware. Mission accomplished.


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Enough With the Fucking Tablet

It’s extremely dis­turb­ing when I read some­thing insight­ful on TechCrunch. Imagine tak­ing anger-management advice from Mirror Universe James Kirk, or eti­quette train­ing from Tara Reid; some­thing about it just seems off. So you can imag­ine the dis­com­bob­u­la­tion I felt today when I read Anticipating the Apple Tablet: When jour­nal­ism becomes fan­fic­tion by Paul Carr. Paul makes a point that will be famil­iar to read­ers here and to lis­ten­ers of the Angry Mac Bastards pod­cast. The short ver­sion is, “until Apple actu­ally announces some­thing, shut the living-fuck up about the Apple tablet.”

Paul truly nails it with these two paragraphs:

But until the offi­cial launch announce­ment comes, I would rather not hear another word about Apple and their tablet. Not because it isn’t news – but because so many of the jour­nal­ists antic­i­pat­ing the launch have dropped any sense of respon­si­bil­ity to their read­ers and replaced it with cloy­ing fanboyism.

They claim of course that they’re dig­ging for facts – the name of the new prod­uct, its price point, its specs – because that’s what reporters do. Bullshit. What reporters do is find out things that peo­ple don’t want us to know. In seven days’ time Apple

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Don’t Be Evil, Unless That’s Inconvenient

Ok kids, I hate to inter­rupt the mutual mas­tur­ba­tion of the blo­go­ratti regard­ing Google’s announce­ment that they might, maybe stop assist­ing the Chinese gov­ern­ment in their cen­sor­ship activ­i­ties after pur­port­edly being tar­geted by Chinese hack­ers attempt­ing to access infor­ma­tion about dis­si­dents. Really, it kills me hav­ing to be a downer on all of this felat­ing of Google, but when TechCrunch of all places gets it right…well, that’s just sad.

Naturally, Scoble disagrees.

Huhwhat?

For the love of Satan, is it really too much to ask that sites that pur­port to report on tech­ni­cal mat­ters do at least a lit­tle research or even have the slight­est clue about what they’re talk­ing about? Case in point: this arti­cle by Stan Schroeder on Mashable. I really don’t give two shits about the fact that Roy Batty’s great-grandpappy runs Flash, but this quote enrages me.

If you’re an iPhone owner, you prob­a­bly don’t want to hear about Flash. Full sup­port for Adobe’s rich media tech­nol­ogy has been promised for the iPhone many times, but it’s still not there yet.

Really Stan? Full sup­port for Flash on the iPhone has been promised? Who made those fuck­ing promises Stan? Because it sure as hell wasn’t Apple. You know Apple, don’t you Stan? The mother-fuckers who con­trol every bit of soft­ware that makes it onto the iPhone.

For fuck’s sake, how hard is it really to actu­ally have some min­i­mal under­stand­ing about a topic before you start spout­ing off about it? At this rate I might as well start a blog detail­ing my expe­ri­ences as a poor black share-cropper in 1940’s Alabama. I have about as much expe­ri­ence with

Continue read­ing Huhwhat?


Scoble Just Doesn’t Get It

Yeah, I know, it’s not exactly a shock­ing rev­e­la­tion; but every now and then Scoble comes up with some­thing that makes even a bat­tle hard­ened vet­eran of the New Media Douchewars like myself sit back, shake my head, and go “huwazat?!?”

In this par­tic­u­lar instance it’s a bit that Robert wrote regard­ing the Facebook Terms of Service Copyright Landgrab. Linky here. Here’s a quick review, for those of you with actual things to do with your time. Recently Facebook posted a change to their Terms of Service that said, in essence, you are giv­ing them a per­ma­nent and irrev­o­ca­ble license to all con­tent that you post to Facebook and that Facebook can effec­tively use that con­tent in any way they see fit.

I’m not going to com­ment on the specifics of the sit­u­a­tion; mainly because I don’t care, and this sort of crap is exactly what I expect of an out­fit like Facebook. But I am going to com­ment on Robert’s reac­tion; because I think that reac­tion is a prime exam­ple of what most of us already know: Robert Scoble is com­pletely out of touch with reality.

Robert’s reac­tion can be summed up in one quote from the article:


Continue read­ing Scoble Just Doesn’t Get It


Paul Thurrott Opens Mouth, Unbridled Idiocy Pours Forth

In the Retarded Zealot Hall of Fame there is none loftier than Paul Thurrott. He has achieved a level of absolute inanity that is unpar­al­leled by any MacMac, free­tard or New Media Douchebag. Given that fact, today’s bit of men­tal vomit comes as lit­tle surprise.

Microsoft Licenses ActiveSync to Google Why is the com­pany coop­er­at­ing with a competitor?

There you have the head­line of today’s dia­tribe; and there you have the crux of the idiocy. See, like any good zealot, in Paul’s mind Microsoft must be the end all and be all of, well, every­thing. The mere thought of coop­er­a­tion is trauma induc­ing. Paul begins by spend­ing a few sen­tences mak­ing snide com­ments about “conspiracy-happy Mac fanat­ics” (pot meet ket­tle) before mak­ing this comment:

With Apple gain­ing usage share in the PC mar­ket reg­u­larly over the past sev­eral years, why is Microsoft prop­ping up this ever-stronger com­peti­tor with the cru­cial Office pro­duc­tiv­ity suite?

Oh, I don’t know Paul; maybe because Apple and Microsoft aren’t really com­peti­tors.I know that this is a shock­ing con­cept to both sides of the OS wars, but it’s true. Apple doesn’t com­pete with Microsoft. Fuck, every cur­rently ship­ping Apple Macintosh com­puter not only

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The Gizmodo Cocksuckers Strike Again

Sing, O Goddess of the wrath of Achilles…

On sec­ond thought bitch, sing of the wrath of the Angry Drunk, for he is indeed wroth.

And what fine spec­i­men of New Media Douchebaggery has earned my unholy wrath today? Why, it’s Jesus Diaz of Fuckwit Central, or Gizmodo as they pre­fer to be called. Last week I men­tioned, in pass­ing, a bull­shit rumor-mill story by Jesus cit­ing unnamed sources claim­ing that Steve Jobs’ deci­sion not to deliver Apple’s final keynote address at the Macworld Expo this week was due to ill­ness. In a rare move, both Steve and the Apple Board of Directors issued state­ments today address­ing this issue. Steve’s let­ter is here; and the Board’s is here. Go ahead and read them. I’ll wait.

Ok, you’re back. Did you read those? Seriously read them? Good; now here’s a quick pop quiz. In which sen­tence did Steve or the Board admit that Apple PR was “lying” when they stated that Apple was pulling out of Macworld because the Expo was no longer worth the invest­ment? Can’t find that part? Neither can I; but we must not have the mag­i­cal mind reading

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Apple Owes Me a Pony!

As you may have heard; Apple recently announced that a) Steve Jobs will not be deliv­er­ing the keynote address at the next Macworld Expo, and b) the next Expo will be the last that Apple attends. The response from the Mac blo­gos­phere has ranged from the retarded (OMGWTF Steve’s agonna die!!!) to the ratio­nal (attend­ing the Expo is expen­sive and Apple now has other options to present new prod­ucts that are more under their con­trol). But, of course, it wouldn’t be an Apple story with­out a heap­ing help­ing of whiny self-entitlement. Case in point http://​silen​tkeynote​.com.

Apparently Apple owes us a keynote and we’re going to hold our breath and stamp our feet until we get one.

Screw The “MommyBloggers”

Need to set the MacMacs, the free­tards & the mom­my­blog­gers against each other; thus start­ing the long proph­e­sised entitleclypse.

Thus spoke I.

This is so not going to make me any friends; but what the hell, alien­at­ing peo­ple is all part of the fun. Before I com­mence to rant­ing though, let’s make one thing clear. Any vit­riol I expend here is not directed at moth­ers in gen­eral. Those who know me know that I have the great­est respect for moth­ers; fuck for par­ents in gen­eral. Anyone who would will­ingly sub­ject them­selves to one or more half-formed proto-humans gets props from me. Gods know I can’t bear the thought of cre­at­ing my own lit­tle hell-spawn. What I don’t have any respect for is enti­tle­tards; and, based on the recent “motrin­moms” retar­da­tion, I’m going to place the “mom­my­blog­gers” firmly into the enti­tle­tard category.

So, what’s all the fuss about? Well, on one level I’d have to say, “some new media douchebagettes got their knick­ers in a twist over a fuck­ing com­mer­cial” On another, slightly less pro­fane level, the deal appears to be this. The mak­ers of Motrin ran a some­what snarky adver­tise­ment advis­ing moth­ers with back­aches from lug­ging their demon-seed around all

Continue read­ing Screw The “MommyBloggers”


The Sorry State Of “Journalism”

Greetings from Éire’s driz­zly shores.

Unfortunately, this isn’t going to win me any friends; and may well alien­ate some of my read­ers; but fuck it, it needs say­ing. The big news in the Apple/iPhone media last week and this week is the story of how Apple denied App Store Access to a pro­gram cit­ing as the rea­son that the appli­ca­tion in ques­tion dupli­cated func­tion­al­ity built into iTunes. This, of course has been met with the usual hyper­bolic reac­tions rang­ing from approval to threats of mass devel­oper suicide.

Now, get one thing absolutely fuck­ing clear here. I’m not defend­ing Apple’s stance here. If this is, in fact, going to be Apple’s pol­icy going for­ward then the par­ties respon­si­ble should be hunted down and con­verted into Solylent Green until they relent. It’s stu­pid and short-sighted. That is, if this is an actual Apple policy.

See the thing is, so far, while I have read an ungodly num­ber of blog posts and news sto­ries about this, I have yet to read any­thing approach­ing the following:

An Apple spokesper­son con­firmed the policy.

Or maybe this:

When approached for com­ment, Apple denied the rumors and stated that a more defined pol­icy would be forthcoming.

Or

Continue read­ing The Sorry State Of “Journalism”