By The Angry Drunk
Satan’s balls I hate TechCrunch; they truly are the ultimate bottom feeder of the tech industry. One of my favorite tricks that Mike Arrington and his carnival of imbeciles like to pull is the “highlight yet another App Store denial” routine. Today’s example from Roi Carthy, though, is a doozy. The headline reads: Tawkon Measures The Radiation Spewing From Your iPhone. No Wonder Apple Doesn’t Approve It.
The idiocy is summed in the first paragraph.
Here we go again . . . Apple App Store Fail No. 5102928. A few weeks ago stealth Israeli startup Tawkon gave me a sneak-peak developer build of what I believe is the most important app on my iPhone. What does it do? It analyzes the cellular radiation your iPhone emits at any given moment, at any given location, whether in standby mode, or within a call.
First of all, I’m declaring a fucking fatwa against the use of the word “fail.” You’re (presumably) not a giggling school-girl, stop fucking writing like one. But more to the point, let’s be clear about what this application does. This piece of crap measures the signal strength of the iPhone’s cellular radio, then does some
Continue reading Denying iPhone Apps…for Science!
By The Angry Drunk
We feature the work of Joe Wilcox at Betanews fairly frequently on Ye Olde Angry Mac Bastards podcast, mainly because he’s a raving lunatic, but the festering turd that he published yesterday forced me to take direct action. The headline reads Apple should ban freebees from the iPad App Store and that essentially sums up the article. Joe argues that, in order to distinguish the iPad from the iPod Touch and the iPhone, Apple should set a policy that no free applications can be offered via the iPad App Store.
Apple shouldn’t treat iPad like iPhone or iPod touch. The iPad App Store should be stocked full of premium content, meaning no freebees. It’s the right way to help establish iPad as a premium product, as something special like the Macintosh. Unfortunately, Apple has little incentive to take this right approach benefiting its developers (because they make more money), customers (because they get better quality apps) and the iPad brand (because it comes be to viewed as a more premium product).
Ok, excuse me for a second while I go stick my cock in a light socket. I need to reboot my brain.
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Continue reading Joe Wilcox: Lunatic
By The Angry Drunk
I began working on this article several months ago, but other things took priority and I pretty much forgot about it. The recent bout of blogorrhea over Apple and its DRACONIAN CONROL!! of the App Store prompted me to dust it off. For the record, I am in agreement with those who argue that there are problems with the App Store. Months ago I wrote that I thought the entire process was being mismanaged. On the other hand, I have yet to hear a proposal to “fix” the App Store that I think would actually work. So, since I’m just arrogant enough to think that I can do better, read on to hear my proposal for correcting the issues with the App Store…if you dare.
Continue reading Fixing the App Store
By The Angry Drunk
Thank Satan for Kara Swisher. It’s always refreshing to see someone call out the blogosphere for being a bunch of whiny link-baiting blowhards. At this point, the breathless faux-outrage displayed every time Apple demonstrates that they couldn’t give a fuck what the blogtards think is becoming pathetic.
By The Angry Drunk
Jason Snell at Macworld writes about the bullshit that Macworld went though to get an eBook version of their iPhone and iPod Touch Superguide published to the App Store. Every time that someone reveals the details of this process it reinforces to me my belief that the fundamental flaw in how Apple is handling the approval/rejection process is that it is being treated as a “call center” process instead of a “quality assurance” process. Having done both I can attest that I have witnessed scenarios almost identical to what Jason describes during my technical support days. Sadly, my experience in this field tells me that the only way this process can be fixed is to raze it to the ground and start from scratch. Monkeys like “Steve” from the article are fundamentally incapable of being re-educated.
