1. Oh The Fucking Irony

    July 11, 2012

    Earlier today I linked to a post by Anthony Kay talking about how the hyperbolic credulity of the tech (by which I mean “Mac”) blogger circle-jerk destroys whatever credibility they have.

    In an amazing stroke of irony that almost makes me reconsider my rejection of a gentle and loving God Tapbots, the makers of the awesomest iOS Twitter apps1, today announced the public alpha of the long-awaited Mac version. Now to be fair, Tapbots is completely up front about what you’ll be getting into by using this alpha. In a section of the announcement titled “So what can I expect from this alpha?” they list:

    • Bugs! Lots of them.
    • Missing features.
    • Disturbing graphics and performance issues.
    • No support.
    • No Notification Center or iCloud support (in the alpha/beta).

    Wow, sounds like a treat.

    Of course that didn’t stop the usual suspects™ from immediately (and I mean within minutes) proclaiming Tweetbot Mac Alpha to be the bestest thing evah! Ultimately leading to this post by my pal Harry C. Marks highlighting a “review” of the product, posted less than an hour after the alpha announcement2 — which is utterly hilarious when you consider Kay’s veiled reference to the phrase “gained a spot on my home screen”.

    The Gods of Irony, they be bountiful masters this day.

    1. Not being sarcastic here, I love Tweetbot. 

    2. I know, the “reviewer” had access to a pre-public alpha. I don’t give a fuck. 

  2. Business Insider Knows Neither Jack nor Shit

    July 02, 2012

    Making an early play for “Shittastic Linkbait Headline of the Week”, Seth Fiegerman at Business Insider delivers this greasy turd: “Apple Has Finally Shut Down Its Failed Cloud Storage Service”.1

    The article itself is a pointless recitation of the fact that, herp derp, Apple did exactly what it said it would do in the MobileMe to iCloud transition. But fuck me, could the headline be any more inflammatory?

    1. Link omitted because I’m not playing these assholes’ games. 

  3. WWDC 2012 Predictions - The Results

    June 12, 2012

    Whelp, the Apple Worldwide Developer Conference Keynote has come and gone. Now it’s time to assess my predictions. As a reminder, only things announced as part of the keynote count:


    • iOS 6 announced & previewed - 90% - Yup
    • …featuring Apple powered mapping system - 75% - Yup
    • …featuring a public API for Siri - 50% - Nope
    • …featuring significant changes to the UI (Springboard, Multitasking, etc) - 10% - Nope
    • …featuring end-user access to the file system - 1% - Nope
    • …developer preview available by day’s end - 90% - Yup
    • OS X Mountain Lion demoed - 90% - Yup
    • …featuring significant changes from the current Developer Preview - 10% - Nope
    • …new Developer Preview available by day’s end - 90% - Yup
    • …Gold Master available by day’s end - 25% - Nope
    • …available for purchase immediately - 1% - Nope
    • Apple TVOS mentioned at all - 10% - Suck it BGR
    • SDK available to developers - 15% - Bwahahaha
    • TV “App Store” announced - 15% - hahahaha
    • Any other Apple software announced (iLife, iWork, Aperture, FCPX, etc) - 0% - I’m going with “Yes” since Retina versions of Aperture and PCPX were mentioned on stage.


    • New iPhone announced - Fuck you - Seriously, did people actually think this?
    • New iPods announced - Are you high? - No
    • Apple HDTV announced - sigh 2.71828% - Somewhere Gene Munster sheds a lonely little tear.
    • Mac Pro updated - 75% - Nope. Remember, I said on stage announcements only.
    • MacBook Pro updated - 40% - Yep
    • …with RETINA display - 90% - and how
    • …with Retsina display - I wish
    • MacBook Air updated - 40% - Bumpity bump bump
    • …with RETINA display - 90% - Nope
    • iMac updated - 10% - Nope
    • …with RET…oh fuck we get it, high DPI is the shiznit - Nope
    • Mac Mini updated - 10% - Nope
    • …with RETINA display - wait, what?
    • iPad announced - I hate you people - Dumbasses
    • Airport Extreme, Airport Express, Time Capsule, iPod Socks etc. announced - Sure, at this point why not - nope

    Overall I’d give myself a solid “B“. My biggest miss was thinking the Mac Pro was more likely to get an on-stage mention than the MacBook Pros.