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I wrote this on Twitter a little while ago, but I’m putting it here for posterity: The Topolsky Spin – The act of claiming that your shitty rumormongery was correct, even in the face of reality proving you false. The most common variant is to claim that Apple (it’s always about Apple) was totally going to announce the product that you predicted, but they changed plans at the last minute.
I have one and only one prediction for tomorrow — riots. I predict riots on the streets of Cupertino.
…for people who intend to comment on posts they encounter via “linked lists” such as the ones at Daring Fireball, The Loop or even The Angry Drunk: Try actually fucking reading the article that you’re about to comment on before spewing your opinions into the aether. Thank you for your co-operation — The Management.
Now that lazy tech writers can no longer blame Steve Jobs for every Apple decision that they dislike they’re going to have to come up with some alternatives. As a public service I’m going to start tracking what the hacks come up with. So far I’ve seen:
Come on you twats, let’s get creative!
Change is afoot at The Worlds Largest Technology Tabloid, and it’s making the natives restless. Now, full disclosure (a hilarious phrase when used in the context of TechCrunch), I despise TechCrunch. As much as I’m loath to see people put out of work, I would like nothing more than to see TechCrunch consigned to the dust-bin of history. Here’s the funny thing though. In each of these pathetic whine-fests about how big bad corporate media just doesn’t understand the special snowflake that is TechCrunch we’re implicitly asked to accept one unreasonable argument. We’re asked to accept that — even though Mike Arrington is a demonstrably unethical jackass — the site that he founded is incapable of unethical behavior. I’m sorry kids, that shit won’t fly.
This is an obscenely bad idea.
In order to combat the fact that my co-workers are thieving scum, signs have been placed on the two refrigerators in out microscopic break room. Instead of saying something sensical, such as “Stop stealing shit you thieving assholes,” they read: Stop. Do not take items that you did not purchase. This confuses me. Am I not allowed to take the home-cooked meal that I brought. Alternately, can I just take whatever I want and leave some money behind. Sometimes it’s better to just say what you mean.
I find it hard to brag about being right about something Apple already confirmed, but hey iCloud.com Beta is live. Web apps, gotta love ‘em.
The hammer has finally dropped and 3rd party eReader applications are being updated to comply with Apple’s current rules on In App Purchases. A better man than myself would refrain from pointing out that this is exactly how I predicted things would go down. Good thing for me I’m an asshole.
Apparently the New York Times has some horrible anti-Microsoft bias — and if there is someone who knows about irrational biases it’s Paul Thurrott. I’d properly deconstruct this lunacy, but I shat myself laughing about it. Thanks Paul, you fucking lunatic, you owe me a pair of pants. |
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