WWDC 2012 Predictions
As Apple’s Worldwide Developer Conference draws nigh we’ve seen a veritable explosion of rumors regarding what Apple will announce during the keynote presentation. Of course rumors always run rampant before an Apple event, but this year the sheer volume of crap that the rumormongers expect Tim Cook to announce has long ago left the ream of the sane and entered into a new and disturbing land of fantasy.
In order to help make sense of this insanity I’m compiling a list of WWDC predictions and my estimation of their likelihood. Note that I’m only counting things announced *during the keynote itself* press releases and website updates don’t count.
Software
- iOS 6 announced & previewed - 90%
- …featuring Apple powered mapping system - 75%
- …featuring a public API for Siri - 50%
- …featuring significant changes to the UI (Springboard, Multitasking, etc) - 10%
- …featuring end-user access to the file system - 1%
- …developer preview available by day’s end - 90%
- OS X Mountain Lion demoed - 90%
- …featuring significant changes from the current Developer Preview - 10%
- …new Developer Preview available by day’s end - 90%
- …Gold Master available by day’s end - 25%
- …available for purchase immediately - 1%
- “Apple TV” OS mentioned at all - 10%
- …SDK available to developers - 15%
- …TV “App Store” announced - 15%
- Any other Apple software announced (iLife, iWork, Aperture, FCPX, etc) - 0%
Hardware
- New iPhone announced - Fuck you
- New iPods announced - Are you high?
- Apple HDTV announced - sigh 2.71828%
- Mac Pro updated - 75%
- MacBook Pro updated - 40%
- …with RETINA display - 90%
- …with Retsina display - I wish
- MacBook Air updated - 40%
- …with RETINA display - 90%
- iMac updated - 10%
- …with RET…oh fuck we get it, high DPI is the shiznit
- Mac Mini updated - 10%
- …with RETINA display - wait, what?
- iPad announced - I hate you people
- Airport Extreme, Airport Express, Time Capsule, iPod Socks etc. announced - Sure, at this point why not
There you have it people: my official list. We’ll tally the results after the big show. The great thing this year is, the rumormongers have gone so completely off their nuts that you could predict the resurrection of Steve Jobs and sound sane in comparison.
Later bitches!
post edited to include the Retina display jokes I forgot to make