Dave You Ignorant Slut

Sometimes the New Media Douchebag cir­cus is too good for the freak-show and needs to be in the main ring. Case in point, today’s twad­dle from Dave “Cranky-Pants” Winer, Dear Apple, re your boy­cott of Flash. Ooh, goody, goody gum­drops. It’s crit­i­cism in epis­tle form; my favorite thing.

Let’s break this mofo down, start­ing with the title. Did you know that Apple is boy­cotting Flash? I didn’t. I mean, I have to run third-party soft­ware just to keep that crap from inun­dat­ing my desk­top com­put­ing expe­ri­ence, so Apple doesn’t seem to be doing much to block it there. Perhaps Dave is refer­ring to Apple’s deci­sion to not allow any third party run­time envi­ron­ments in iOS. As an aside, Steve Ballmer must shed a tiny, greasy lit­tle tear every time some­one gets histri­onic over Apple “boy­cotting” Flash with­out men­tion­ing Silverlight. At any rate, mov­ing on.

As an iPad user I can tell you with­out a doubt, it isn’t working.

Well Dave, as an iPad user I can tell you that you’re a fuck­wit. Neener neener.

I see new Flash con­tent sev­eral times every day when I catch up on the news with my iPad. This isn’t stuff that’s going away, it’s new stuff that cre­ative peo­ple are pub­lish­ing. New stuff, not legacy stuff.

Dear gods! What sick, vile, depraved pornog­ra­phy is Dave into that it hasn’t already been made iOS friendly. Seriously though, in the absence of any­thing approx­i­mat­ing an exam­ple, Occam’s razor decrees that Dave is sim­ply mak­ing shit up.

In other words, they know we can’t see it on the iPad and they went ahead anyway.

Again Dave, who is this mys­te­ri­ous “they” that you speak of? Would it kill you to pro­vide even one fuck­ing exam­ple. But really, so the fuck what? So there are peo­ple who made large invest­ments in an Adobe work­flow who are still using it. Stop. The. Fucking. Presses. You know what Dave, I’m will­ing to bet that there are still peo­ple out there pro­duc­ing shit in RealMedia for­mat, that doesn’t mean that any­one needs to sup­port it.

But let’s take Dave’s logic and turn it on its ear a bit. Theoretically there is all this won­drous Flash con­tent out there, and yet Apple went ahead any­way and told Adobe to piss up a rope. Boy, oh boy did that kill the plat­form. Hell, reports are just now com­ing in that the wait time for an iPad is down to a mere 24 hours. Jeez is Steve Jobs an idiot.

Sorry.

Blow me.