Neutronium Soul

“God damn I have a soul-crushing job,” the fuck­tard next to me announced to no one in particular.

I pried my gaze up from the foamy depths of my pint and turned to him.

“You wait tables at a Sizzler.” I replied. “I spend my days lis­ten­ing to The Least Interesting Man in the World explain how not to grab your secretary’s tits. Soul-crushing? Mother-fucker, my soul is neutonium.”