Enough With the Fucking Tablet

It’s extremely disturbing when I read something insightful on TechCrunch. Imagine taking anger-management advice from Mirror Universe James Kirk, or etiquette training from Tara Reid; something about it just seems off. So you can imagine the discombobulation I felt today when I read Anticipating the Apple Tablet: When journalism becomes fanfiction by Paul Carr. Paul makes a point that will be familiar to readers here and to listeners of the Angry Mac Bastards podcast. The short version is, “until Apple actually announces something, shut the living-fuck up about the Apple tablet.”

Paul truly nails it with these two paragraphs:

But until the official launch announcement comes, I would rather not hear another word about Apple and their tablet. Not because it isn’t news – but because so many of the journalists anticipating the launch have dropped any sense of responsibility to their readers and replaced it with cloying fanboyism.

They claim of course that they’re digging for facts – the name of the new product, its price point, its specs — because that’s what reporters do. Bullshit. What reporters do is find out things that people don’t want us to know. In seven days’ time Apple is going to announce the name of their product, its price, its specs and much more besides. Revealing those things seven days early isn’t news.

He’s exactly right. At this point the incessant coverage of the Apple tablet is science fiction at best, and worthless masturbation at worst. I mean, is it too much to ask that Apple actually announce the fucking thing before we go declaring it a failure?