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Erica Sadun: Nostradumbass

Supposedly Erica Sadun is some sort of high potentate of the iPhone development community, which I guess explains why publications like The Unofficial Apple Weblog (TUAW) go to her for commentary. But, given the fact that she has the logical skills of a young-earth creationist, they should really stop. Case in point: an article posted today on TUAW titled App Store approvals and the tablet: why it matters. That’s right kiddies, it’s another article about unicorns.

Erica starts out with an observation:

When iTunes Connect returned after its Christmas break, developers noticed that things had changed quite a bit on the App Store approval front. Applications that had formerly taken ten to fourteen days to work through review were now getting processed in a couple of days or less. The upshot? Happier developers, better bug releases for users, and a healthier App Store ecosystem.

Good so far, this is factual and draws a conclusion that follows logically from the premise. The rail-jumping begins immediately after:

There’s another consequence of the new, speedier approvals: the tablet. With the device due to ship March/April (late Q1, early Q2), and no announced 4.0 SDK, developers were left wondering how they’d have the time to bring their software up to date.

Whuuuuuut? This is the point that, were this a trailer for a Wayans Brothers movie, we’d play the phonograph needle scraping over the record sound. How in Satan’s name do you go from the observed fact that Apple has tightened up the approvals process to the “fact” that there is a) an actual tablet product, b) it will have a March/April ship date and c) that it will run any variant of the iPhone OS, let alone the equally mythical 4.0 version. Seriously Erica, with prognosticatory powers like that, you should give up iPhone development and just play the fucking lottery.