Macworld Musings: An Outsider’s Perspective

Following the brouhaha over the future of the Macworld Conference and Expo is inter­est­ing to me, because I am essen­tially an out­sider here. When the Angry Mac Bastards do our thing there this year it will be the first time that I have attended a Macworld, ever. I sup­pose that this gives me a dif­fer­ent per­spec­tive on things than many of the peo­ple who have com­mented on the mat­ter. For one thing, my opin­ion isn’t col­ored by mem­o­ries (dis­torted or not) of pre­vi­ous Macworlds.

The biggest thing that stands out to me is that the major­ity of the peo­ple who seem to be beat­ing the “Macworld is doomed” drum are jour­nal­ists and blog­gers. That makes sense to me. I can fully under­stand how, if the main ben­e­fit that some­one derives from attend­ing a Macworld is being among the first to hear and report on the words of His Steveness, Apple’s absence makes the con­fer­ence point­less. And with­out an Apple booth to allow jour­nal­ists to get their grubby hands on Apple’s lat­est and great­est for their “first look” arti­cles, the show floor is also pretty worthless.

Of course, as oth­ers have pointed out, Macworld is not just about the

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Tabletard Speculation Part Eleventy Billion

I’m hun­gover and cranky, and I’m utterly tired of iTabet/Slate/Whateverthefuck spec­u­la­tion. Today, in par­tic­u­lar, I’m irri­tated at this point­less exer­cise posted to Macworld a few days ago (actu­ally it orig­i­nated at Computerworld, but I’m too lazy to dig up the link.) The gist of the arti­cle is two “ana­lysts” giv­ing rea­sons why Apple will, nay must, announce a tablet this month. Bear in mind, I’m not offer­ing any spec­u­la­tion or com­men­tary on whether Apple will or won’t announce the Holy Grailblet. I’m com­ment­ing solely on the inane rea­sons given by the “analysts.”

The technology’s ready.”

So the fuck what? Flying jet-car tech­nol­ogy is ready too, where’s my fly­ing jet-car Ford?!?

“E-book read­ers are hot.”

Good gods do the anal­tards love this one. Niche prod­uct is hot, where by “hot” we mean pop­u­lar with New Media Douchebags not real peo­ple, so damn the tor­pe­does full speed ahead. The Tablets must flow!!!

“Tablets are fun, com­put­ers are not.”

You know what else is fun you mooks? Unicorns. And hook­ers. Fuck it Apple, where is my hooker on a unicorn?!?

A tablet is Apple’s next step toward world dom­i­na­tion.

Oh yeah baby, we’re living

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