The Angry Drunk

The greater techno-sphere got their col­lec­tive panties in a twist this week­end over the quasi-unveiling of the rumored Google Phone. I’m not going to link to any of the cov­er­age, I’m lazy and you all can use a search engine just fine, but it behooves me as an opin­ion­ated cock-sucker and gen­eral bas­tard to throw in my two cents.

So, what do we know about this bad boy? Basically, it’s a re-branded (or should that be “unbranded”) HTC phone run­ning the lat­est ver­sion of Android. Supposedly it will be offered carrier-unlocked (no word on pri­ce­points) and it works on T-Mobile’s vari­ant of the GSM spec­trum in the U.S. What that means, for those who don’t under­stand the vagaries of cel­lu­lar data net­works (New York Times, I’m look­ing at you) is that it a) won’t be run­ning on your pre­cious fuck­ing Verizon, and b) will only oper­ate at EDGE speeds on AT&T.

My take on this: “So the fuck what?”

The vast mouth-breathing major­ity of the blo­gos­phere is agog with com­ments about how this strap­ping young lad of a phone will “change the indus­try” and other such hyper­bolic twad­dle. The phrase “iPhone killer” has even been bandied about. The thing is,

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