Why Ignoring New Media Douchebags Is the Best Decision You Can Make

The other day I noticed this bit of fluff from everyone’s favorite ex-camera sales­man, Bobby Scoble: Dying career: traf­fic heli­copter pilot. On the sur­face, there isn’t rally much to say about the piece. It’s the usual tripe where Scooby takes “2” adds it to “B” and comes up with “yel­low.” In this case he takes an Associated Press arti­cle about how advanc­ing tech­nolo­gies are replac­ing the ven­er­a­ble traf­fic heli­copter and lurches off into yet another manic rim-job for the next-big-thing.

Now, I could rant about how mind-fuckingly stu­pid you would have to be to rely solely on crowd-sourced traf­fic updates, but that isn’t really what I want to focus on here. What I want to do is use this as an exam­ple of how gob-smackingly stu­pid you have to be to pay the slight­est atten­tion to the New Media Douchebags, even more-so if you are a com­pany tak­ing busi­ness advice from these twats.

And why, you ask, is it so bad to heed the advice of the NMD’s. Here’s why my chum. These douchenoz­zles, who claim to under­stand “the end users,” have their heads rammed so far up their insu­lar, Silicon Valley asses that you would have to be a retarded mol­lusk to think that they have any­thing worth­while to say about the real world. Case in point, click on this link to Waze’s (the next-big-thing) real-time-traffic-map.

If it’s any­thing like when I viewed it, and I’m will­ing to bet that it is, then the vast major­ity of reports are com­ing from where? That’s right, the Los Angeles — San Francisco cor­ri­dor. Or, pos­si­bly more accu­rately, straight out of Scooby’s ass. Now, it may well be that Waze is the next-big-thing. But I guaran-fucking-tee you this: If they are, by the time they have enough mar­ket pen­e­tra­tion to decide that, Scoble’s ADD rid­dled ass will have for­got­ten them and moved on to some­thing else.

That’s the dan­ger of lis­ten­ing to the New Media Douchebags. They will absolutely not be able to tell you any­thing about your users. Because your users are in the real world, and they ain’t.

  • Yogi

    My brother and I (Los Angeles area) have been using the Dash sys­tem for about 14 months, and love it. Crowd sourced and reg­u­lar traf­fic com­bined make for very spe­cific and timely warn­ings. How use­ful this would be in, say, Des Moines, is debat­able. Dash is unfor­tu­nately, gone, so how long our toys will last is anyone’s bet.