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I Get Mail (Sort Of)

Today, when I came to I was informed that the following epistle was left on one of the family vehicle’s windshield last night

Letter From an Idiot

For those who, for some reason, can’t see the picture there the text is as follows:

NANCY,

PAINT MY ?(ALL) FENCE

WHITE OR I WILL

SEE YOU IN COURT !

DK

So, for background. “DK” is my next-door neighbor. DK is an asshole. DK is the sort of person who massively remodels his house without a singe permit or inspection. DK is the sort of cock-sucker who puts building materials in other people’s trash bin so that the city doesn’t bitch him out for doing so. Basically, he’s a cunt.

The story of the “fence,” it’s really a block wall is this. Many years ago, while my old man was in the hospital dying of cancer and my mother was in the hospital with a perforated intestine. DK took it upon himself to extend the common wall between our properties out to the street, and to stucco and paint my side of it bright white. Just last week we re-painted our side and apparently this has angered the twat. Right now I’m in consultation with the U.N. and the World Court regarding an appropriate response. Early contenders are “Pound sand” and “Make me old man.”

Stay tuned for breaking developments.