I Am Shamed

It’s hor­rif­i­cally embar­rass­ing to admit I missed one of the bet­ter idiot-quotes from Erick Schonfeld’s lat­est Google rim-job, and didn’t notice it until I saw it in a Prince McDildo article:

Google sup­pos­edly didn’t need to cre­ate its own phone, because it could sim­ply cre­ate soft­ware for the iPhone. And, in fact, some of the best apps on the iPhone — Mail, Maps, YouTube, Search — were devel­oped by Google.

The lack of oxy­gen from Google’s sch­long block­ing Erick’s air­way must have con­fused him. None of those appli­ca­tions were devel­oped by Google. One isn’t even a real application.

Noise

A while back in one of the Angry Mac Bastards pod­casts I pos­tu­lated that Scoble’s Twitter favorites can’t pos­si­bly be of any worth, since he can’t pos­si­bly be pay­ing the slight­est atten­tion to what he favorites. Consider the num­bers that he states in the linked blog post. 7,000 favorites in two months? By the most gen­er­ous math that comes out to 116 favorites a day. Now go look at the list of favorites on that blog post. At the time I’m writ­ing this, there is only one tweet out of the twenty there that is even arguably not mar­ket­ing chaff. I seri­ously doubt that will change.

Get Google’s Cock Out of Your Mouth You Tool

Erick Schonfeld takes one deep and works the ball­sack today with this: Google Should Make Apple Beg For Maps Navigation. Choice quote:

When Google announced what is clearly the best car nav­i­ga­tion appli­ca­tion on any mobile today, it didn’t just take a swipe at GPS nav­i­ga­tion com­pa­nies such as Garmin and TomTom. It took a swipe at Apple.

Ignoring the breath­less procla­ma­tion that, since it’s from Google it must be the best thing since uni­corn cum, let me just point out that Apple already “took a swipe” at Google when they banned Google Voice, banned Google Latitude and bought a mother-fucking map­ping com­pany. As for the retarded notion that Google should make Apple “beg” to use their pre­cious unicorn-tear pow­ered map­ping frame­work, recall that Google doesn’t make dime fuck­ing one directly from Android phone sales. It makes it’s money sell­ing adver­tise­ments. As such, I rather imag­ine that Google will be beg­ging Apple to use their ser­vice on one of the fastest grow­ing mobile plat­forms in the fuck­ing Universe.

Seriously, Erick and the rest of the TechCrunch lack­wits, stop before your lips become per­ma­nently chapped.

Rob Enderle Is a Fucking Madman

Presented, with­out addi­tional com­ment, the open­ing para­graph of Rob’s lat­est flight of fancy:

This is likely to point with Apple this month as they sit stunned that Windows 7 is doing so well and they are left look­ing fool­ish with prod­ucts priced out of the seg­ment. Their big news this week was a cou­ple of PCs, a new key­board and a multi-touch mouse. This last will likely go down in his­tory as one of the lamest devices yet as they should know, given the iPhone, that touch is con­nected to the screen and not any­thing else. They likely would have done bet­ter putting fir on the damn thing and build­ing it to fart the star span­gled ban­ner at least that would have been patriotic.

Can some­one check and make sure that Rob isn’t hav­ing a psy­chotic episode?

Faux News

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Take this arti­cle, change the domain and ban­ner to Fox News, and I defy you to show me the difference.

Read This Now

Seriously, read this arti­cle from Wired about the anti-vaccine move­ment. This mes­sage can­not be spread far enough. As an aside, I have to say that I’m absolutely in love with the writ­ing in this arti­cle. It’s fact – based, pointed and refrains from indulging in the asi­nine he said, she said false equiv­a­lence crap that most mod­ern “jour­nal­ists” think rep­re­sents “objectivity.”

New Apple Crap

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Updated iMacs, Macbooks, Minis and a new Mouse. I want the 27″ Quad i7 iMac so bad it’s mak­ing me phys­i­cally ill.

Results

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Apple’s QA results. Somewhere Rob Enderle is howl­ing in rage.

Incomprehensographs®!

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New from Angry Dunk Productions, it’s Incomprehensographs®! A com­pendium of the arcane dia­grams that Daniel Eran Dilger/Prince McLean uses to “illus­trate” his arti­cles. Warning! May induce insanity!

Lifehacker, Emphasis on the ‘Hack’

It looks like the fuck­ing lack-wits at Lifehacker are still attempt­ing, and mis­er­ably fail­ing, to report on tech­nol­ogy. Case in point: the exe­crable piece of crap that Kevin Purdy shat forth today under the head­line “Latest iPhones Block Jailbreaking.”

Before I address the arti­cle itself I want to make some­thing clear. All of the cur­rent processes used to “jail­break” iPhones (that I know of, cor­rect me if I’m wrong) rely on oper­at­ing sys­tem exploits to do their thing. That’s right kid­dos, exploits as in “the shit that the evil crack­ers use to “pwn” your systems.

So, what heinous crime is Apple has Apple com­mit­ted this time? From the Lifehacker story:

The Dev-Team and other jail­break mak­ers have been using an exploit known as 24kpwn to break into the iPhone and obtain deeper access to install new app mar­kets and unlock cer­tain fea­tures. A new boot­ing firmware update, iBoot-359.3.2, has been shipped on 3GS mod­els man­u­fac­tured since last week, how­ever, and a Dev-Team mem­ber tells the Boy Genius Report that jail­break­ing won’t be pos­si­ble on the newer units, at least until another exploit is found.

OMFGWTFBBQ!!! Apple patched a known exploit in the OS, why those fuck­ing ass­holes!! How dare

Continue read­ing Lifehacker, Emphasis on the ‘Hack’