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Wah, Wah, Wah Goes the Pundit.

I debated doing a proper tear-down of this piece of self-indulgent tripe from the usually a bit more astute than this Merlin Mann. It certainly has all of the tropes that send me into paroxysms of rage: Apple as cult, the implication that Snow Leopard is just a “service pack,” the inability to understand Apple’s marketing of Snow Leopard, douchebaggy faux-conversations between the author and an anthropomorphized Apple. Really, it’s a New Media Douchefestival of delights. But I just can’t bring myself to do it. Instead I’ll offer just a few thoughts.

I get it Merlin, you’re an idiot who rushed into an OS upgrade because, like every other dip-shit in the tech punditocracy, you are obsessed with the new shiny and, like a fucking raccoon, you can’t resist grabbing for it. I get that, again like the rest of the punditocracy you aren’t capable of listening when Apple said clearly that Snow Leopard was not going to be about new features (except for Exchange). I get that it’s easier to blame Apple instead of your beloved developers who couldn’t be arsed to upgrade their software in time for Snow Leopard, even though Apple gave developers an unprecedented amount of time and support to get their shit together. I get that you’re pissy because people are calling bullshit on you this time.

Tough titty.

Here’s the fucking reality. You chose to upgrade your shit while in the midst of a project, without verifying the compatibility of the tools you rely on. That was stupid. You can throw all the tantrums you want. You can compare Apple and the people telling you that you did a stupid thing to a cult all you want. You can make up conversations in your head where some mythical “Apple” enjoins you to perform troubleshooting steps that went out of vogue in the 1990’s all you want. None of that changes the fact that you did something dumb. It just makes you look like a jackass.

We all know that you’re smarter than this Merlin, so cut with the hissy-fit, and comb your hair you fucking hippy.