That ought to do it!

Just sayin'.

Oh shit no, that's only for feeding to sorority girls so they think anal was their idea.

I'm gonna insult you regularly just for the fucking hits.

So… you're an illiterate troll whose blog gets no attention unless you act like a cunt. Isn't that what I was telling you in the first place?

You might ask yourself…why would a lawyer CHOOSE to live in Taiwan? What can he DO there that he cannot do at home?.

Alex, I'll take “What is molest little boys without fear of prosecution?” for $200

I get it. Some days, you just need something more than yet another trembling Eton n00b. I bet Taiwan is like a fucking smorgasbord of southeast asian boy colon for you. And really, who wouldn't rather eat choleric sewage that whatever the fuck it is brits call “food”.

But seriously? “I live in Taiwan, so I must be a bad-ass motherfucker?” Not only a drunken inane twat, but geographically challenged to. If you want to impress the ignorant with “I live in Asia, I kick ass like Chuck Norris wishes he could”, then you need to live in Thailand. You know, Muay Thai? Taiwan is the last home of Chiang Kai-Shek and the rest of the losers whose asses Mao so thoroughly kicked. At least live in fucking REAL China, and not the wannabe, or Korea, or even Japan. But ass-kicking cred amongst the ignorant from Taiwan? Seriously?

And I also get why you can only kick someone's ass in Taiwan. I mean, unlike England, where anything more deadly than a longbow is illegal, you have to go to Switzerland to find a more heavily-armed populace. Coming to the US to kick someone's ass only gets you a steel-jacketed tumor from a thousand meters.

I ain't no troll, bitch. I MEAN EVERY WORD. Right down to the bat eaters, the hat, and the offer of halvsies airfare.

That's pretty much the antithesis of “troll”.

and the living definition of “I have HUGE internet balls”

I'm not trying to provoke you, peeflap…I'm trying to educate you. It's not my fault you're stubborn. Sooner or later, though, you'll catch on. I've been more places, speak more languages, hold really VERY impressive academic credentials, and REALLY CAN kick the living shit out of anyone you've ever met face to face.

“If I scream loud enough, no one will notice I'm compensating for Troyeresque penis”

Oops, too late.

There's nothing cuter than a raging Brit. It's like a Jack Russell Terrier, cute but as long as you're bigger than a squirrel, ultimately amusing, and satisfactorily dealt with by a brick.

For Angry Drunk – I wonder how many times someone can use “fat” as an insult and expect it to have any type of emotional response. I'm fat… It's not like someone saying “Hey you're fat!” is news to me, let alone emotional . I'm also curious if he has an ongoing Explicit Language Mad Libs booklet for which to pick out cool sounding rants as well. All in all keep up the good work