Today’s Round of Idiocy

June 25th, 2009, by The Angry Drunk

I write this post with a heavy heart.

Have any of you ever been in the fol­low­ing sit­u­a­tion? You know a guy. He’s a smart guy, and you agree with almost all of his opin­ions, but he’s done or said some­thing so mon­u­men­tally annoy­ing that you just have to smack him around a bit for it. Well, I’ve just encoun­tered the inter­tubes ver­sion of that.

So, who’s the dip­shit in ques­tion? I’m glad you asked. It’s “Cousin Avi” of Veritas Nihilum Vincet.

Background time. VNV is a decent enough lit­tle blog with a decid­edly pro­gres­sive polit­i­cal bent. I’ve had it in my feed reader for some time, and I quite enjoy read­ing. Unfortunately, Cousin Avi is appar­ently as savvy about the inter­net as his fic­tional name­sake is about the London mob scene.

See, this week I went ahead and switched to Shaun Inman’s nifty new feed reader Fever. For those who’ve some­how missed all the press that Fever has received over the last week, but who still man­aged to not piss me the fuck off, Fever uses a some­what unique method of instal­la­tion. Instead of being a appli­ca­tion that you run from your desk­top, or some­thing that runs in the cloud (CLOUD!!!) a’la Google Reader, you install Fever to a web­server that you con­trol. In my case the angry​drunk​.com webserver.

So Fever, like all news­read­ers sends a HTTP refer­rer string each time it con­nects to a blog. If you are run­ning a blog and have access to your refer­rers you’ll see an entry for each con­nec­tion. For exam­ple, here is an entry from my blog stats pro­gram (Mint, also by Shuan Inman)

google​.com/​r​e​a​d​e​r​/​v​i​ew/

Pretty sim­ple isn’t it. It just means that a Google Reader user clicked through to a page here. An entry from a Fever user would look much the same, but since Fever runs on my web­server, the orig­i­nat­ing domain would be www​.thangry​drunk​.com/​f​e​ver. If you click that link, since you ain’t me, you’ll see a Fever login screen.

Which brings us to Cousin Avi. My boy Avi reached the login screen, and appar­ently had a fuck­ing aneurysm. Then, con­fused and pos­si­bly drool­ing, Avi pokes around the old home­stead long enough to find my email address and fires off a half-assed rant at me. Back when the inter­net first sprang, Athena-like, from Al Gore’s nog­gin it was con­sid­ered impo­lite to pub­licly post pri­vate emails, but fuck that shit. Avi-me-boy opens up with.

So…every once in awhile one of the “refer­ring links” in my blog stats says “Angry drunk dot com / fever“
Slash Fever is some pass­word pro­tected bit of horse­shit I’m not per­mit­ted to see.  So it goes.
So i have a peek at Angry Drunk dot com.
I think…no, I’m certain…I am angrier.

First of all, I want to make a point. Here is a cap of the login screen for Fever:


Fever Login

Fever Login


It may not be obvi­ous here, but there are no less than four links that one may click to take you to either the Fever home­page or Shaun Inman’s page. But let’s ignore that lit­tle bit of idiocy.

Avi, I’m so very fuck­ing sorry that my lit­tle blog here upset you. No wait, I’m not. Since you didn’t feel the need to com­ment on any par­tic­u­lar bit of con­tent I’ll have to assume that you don’t like the choice of fonts. Well, fuck you. Helvetica rocks.

At this point Avi descends to the stan­dard backup set of insults when some­one can’t dredge up any sort of cogent or inter­est­ing crit­i­cism. “I’m a big­ger drunk/angrier guy than you.” Whatever inter­net tough guy. Come out this hell­ish desert and I’ll drink you into a stu­por, blud­geon you to death, then piss on your corpse. Two can play at the key­board war­rior schtick.

I have to admit, I lied: Avi did offer some bum­bling insight into what has drawn his mighty ire.

On closer inspec­tion, you appear to be an obsessed MAC freak.
Jesus.  God curses me and I reject the very premise of the obvi­ously hate­ful cunt.  Go figure.

You got me fuck­nuts, I am utterly obsessed with Media Access Control. Oh, wait, you mean “Mac” as in Macintosh com­put­ers? Well, even I admit that I do tend to write about Apple fre­quently, but then again, I also write about New Media Douchbags, pol­i­tics and my fucked up fin­ger. Besides what did Apple ever do to you? Did a Powerbook kill your pappy?

Avi then even­tu­ally ram­bles off to an mostly unsat­is­fac­tory con­clu­sion, much like his sex­ual encoun­ters I’d imag­ine, clos­ing with this gem.

Still tho…what the FUCK is “/fever”?.…don’t make come over there all stabby.

Like you’d know, Avi, had you spent the two fuck­ing sec­onds it takes to click any of the links on the Fever page, Fever is a feed reader. Do you spazz the fuck out when you see that Google is spy­ing on you? Hell, you prob­a­bly do. And, as for the “stabby,” I have what they call around here an Evil Hand, and it’s get­ting bored with gut­ting hobos and hookers.

To con­clude, if you’re into pro­gres­sive pol­i­tics and athe­ist rants read the Veritas Nihilum Vincet blog, but for the love of Zoroaster, don’t do any­thing to con­fuse or star­tle the mother-fucker run­ning the joint. He might just draft a strongly worded let­ter at you.

44 comments - (Comments closed)
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  • http://www.bynkii.com/ John C. Welch

    Oh for fuck’s sake. Really? That’s the best he’s got?

  • Rory Marinich

    Unrelated: Your new pop-up Share links are very, very sexy. I can rec­og­nize most of them when they’re sunk in and they’re posi­tioned very attrac­tively rel­a­tive to your posts.

  • http://www.theangrydrunk.com The Angry Drunk

    Rory,
    Thanks, but I can’t take credit for the links. They’re com­ing via SexyBookmarks. And to be com­pletely fair, I was inspired to install the plu­gin after see­ing them in use at Jim Dalrymple’s The Loop.

  • Rory Marinich

    I fig­ured they were com­ing from some­where, but they still have a really nice feel. I know you’ve been play­ing with some dif­fer­ent stuff, and that’s the one that I’ve liked the most so far.

  • http://cousinavi.wordpress.com/ cousi­navi

    Still don’t know how the fuck you came by in the first place.…

    You TOTALLY missed the back­handed joke on the first note — tak­ing that shit SERIOUSLY utterly obscures the intended tone (you STUPID fat fuck!…is more direct shtick your thing?)

    Click on any of the links? Now I have to come over and here and be Fenton Fucking Hardy?
    I asked a ques­tion, you blither­ing ball of obese inter­net obses­sion. I made a poorly under­stood (sur­prise) attempt at humor. We’ll never really sort out if it was poorly con­ceived, because the igno­rant über sen­si­tive bulging, stut­ter­ing MacBook freak on the other end decided to turn it into a yam­mer­ing inter­net “tough guy” gag. How orig­i­nal.
    As tough guys go, you stut­ter­ing fuck­wit, I’ll yank your throat out through your neck. I’ll even split the air­fare to Taiwan with you with you if you’d like to sort the ques­tion out quick. You’re on your own hook for med­ical care and your air ambu­lance home.
    But let’s leave that aside for the moment. I might have missed a link, and made a weak attempt at a joke you didn’t get…but you’ve made it per­sonal, you fat, lazy cunt­flap.
    It’s a small world, dick­breath. Don’t get your hopes up about my mak­ing some ded­i­cated trip to con­front your weak fat ass…but I DO travel…and one of these days, you flabby spooge-stained igno­ra­mus, you’re gonna take a solid smack in the face and be utterly stumped about WHY you’re get­ting slapped around like a fat pid­dling bitch even as I ASK YOU, “Do you know why I’m beat­ing you around, you fat fuck­ing igno­ra­mus?“

    Until that fine day, you sweaty, stag­ger­ing fat fuck, enjoy your health.

  • Rory Marinich

    You put so much effort into your blus­ter, yet you’re eas­ily dis­missed because you’re a cunt. Swears and threats mean noth­ing on their own.

  • http://cousinavi.wordpress.com/ cousi­navi

    Like I’m sup­posed to take any­one seri­ously when their own mother named them Rory.

    Same deal is open to you, piss bucket. I’ll split the air­fare with you to GET here. Hospital bills and your extended rehab are on on you.

  • Rory Marinich

    Avis can’t diss on the Rorys. That’s the rule.

    Can we quit the talk of vio­lence? You’re too bor­ing to pos­si­bly be threatening.

  • http://www.theangrydrunk.com The Angry Drunk

    Well Avi, I gotta hand it to you man, your poor impulse con­trol and anger man­age­ment issues are truly an inspi­ra­tion. I was being sin­cere when I said I really like your blog, but hon­estly, I couldn’t give a rat’s fuck what you think of mine. I did fig­ure that there was an even chance you were being face­tious, but hey, we take inspi­ra­tion where we find it. At any rate, don’t take this shit so seri­ously, it’s just the inter­net. Tell you what, I don’t have any press­ing desire to visit Taiwan, but if we do cross paths I’ll be sure to buy you a shot. Deal?

  • http://cousinavi.wordpress.com/ cousi­navi

    That’s only com­fort­ing at dis­tance, Rory.

    We can debate the missed intent of the orig­i­nal mis­un­der­stood gag…but that’s already been set­tled from your per­spec­tive, and I’ve already been slagged off as a result.
    Sadly…all I’m left with is the very fact of the back­handed “inter­net tough guy” cunt­flap answer.
    Turns out (inter­net be fucked) I’m per­fectly will­ing to fund your trip over to learn what a pussy I really am…how do peo­ple named Rory say?…“Halvsies.“

    Taiwan ain’t your mother’s base­ment, Rory. You might ask yourself…why would a lawyer CHOOSE to live in Taiwan? What can he DO there that he can­not do at home?
    Give it some thought. Come on over. I’ll explain to you how unlikely it is that you’ll ever recover dam­ages off your pain and suf­fer­ing as I’m inflict­ing it.

  • Rory Marinich

    This is why you don’t write uglyass WordPress blogs with your photo up front. I can’t take you seri­ously when I know you wear a hat like that.

    Jesus, if you had to move to Taiwan just to get a hooker you must not be an impres­sive lawyer.

  • http://cousinavi.wordpress.com/ cousi­navi

    As for that fat Tempe fuck­wit, Darby (Christ…one named Rory…the other named DARBY…wtf have have I done to deserve THIS?)…
    Darby.

    Jesus. No doubt the piss­flap has broth­ers named Lance and Trent.

    Arizona. Fuck me. The ONLY good thing about that fuck­ing arid waste­land is that the vul­tures make dig­ging a hole unnec­es­sary.

    Patience, gentlemen…unless you’re eager. Offer stands — half the air­fare, will meet you at the air­port and bring your ambu­lance with me. Ah, fuck it. I’m a good and decent fella — I’ll even show you some high­lights before bust­ing you to pieces. It’s been many years since any­one was truly and prop­erly fucked up in Taroko Gorge with­out being hit by a car;..

  • http://cousinavi.wordpress.com/ cousi­navi

    Shots are fair dinkum.

    It’s a deal.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=726170419 Anonymous

    My first name is Kuna. I Anglicized it for the stunned — turns out they’re more numer­ous than any­one has use for. Go ahead…I await your clever Matata joke. Lion King. You’re a fuckin’ genius.

    Here’s an easy one for you. In grade 12 I had a gf named Barbara. Ken and Barbie. Fill your boots.

    I’m not named RORY, though.

    • Rory Marinich

      Look, I’m all for bizarre names. Kuna sounds pretty neat. But if your name’s Kuna Avrom you haven’t got a leg to stand on.

      It’s all cool. From scan­ning your blog you’re a self-hating puss, so I don’t feel any need to knock you down. Cheers to you.

  • http://www.theangrydrunk.com The Angry Drunk

    Fair ‘nuf. Shots, then we can go make fun of the fundies. See, now everyone’s happy.

  • http://cousinavi.wordpress.com/ cousi­navi

    Apparently the last post wouldn’t post.

    You moth­er­fuck­ers won’t even take con­tri­tion!

    I SAID: “Shots are fair dinkum.” Next round on me.

    I meant every word…I’m not really EAGER. Just will­ing and able.
    You’re right. I react poorly to being mis­un­der­stood. It’s not a good trait in a lawyer (except in rare cir­cum­stances where I excel)…but it has cer­tain advan­tages when it’s time for smack­ing meat. Sadly, there’s less of that in prac­tice than I had hoped. It would seem I’m a lit­tle des­per­ate, eh?

    The offer for half air­fare stands. We can scrap or drink — your choice. Either way, you’re going home shattered.

  • Rory Marinich

    I think the prob­lem stems from our shitty writ­ing. When your English is inco­her­ent as it is, it’s nearly impos­si­ble to deter­mine what you’re try­ing to get across.

  • Rory Marinich

    “Your.” Oops.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=726170419 facebook-726170419

    I’d never imag­ined some­one named Rory Marinich pick­ing on my English usage.

    Not even sure whether I should reply in Welsh or Ukrainian…not that either of those tor­tures of the tongue are to be trusted fur­ther than I might hurl a water­logged caber.

    Never end a sen­tence with a prepo­si­tion, Rory. There are some things up with which I will not put.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=726170419 facebook-726170419

    You can rag on my abo­rig­i­nal hand­crafted hat all you want.
    It’s a fuck­ing cool hat, hand made by moun­tain dwelling bat eaters.
    It’s never been blooded.…and I’m a bad enough moth­er­fucker to be rea­son­ably safe in assert­ing it never will be.
    If it ever is, you can bury it with me.

    It’s a fuck­ing COOL hat.

  • Rory Marinich

    Bloody hell, your first name is Kenneth. No won­der you go by Avi online.

    Apparently this Rory Marinich feller writes more coher­ently than you do, so troll all you’d like.

  • Rory Marinich

    It’s a fuck­ing awful hat. It’s the hat of chil­dren whose lunches are stolen.

  • http://www.theangrydrunk.com The Angry Drunk

    You kids fight ‘mongst your­selves, I need my pass­ing out time. Avi, you’re an ok bloke, we’ll have to trade inco­her­ent drunken insults again soon.

  • http://www.theangrydrunk.com The Angry Drunk

    Yes, another fine night in the Rageatorium.

  • Rory Marinich

    D’you have a “No talk­ing to angry trolls” pol­icy on your blog? If this dick­ing and whin­ing is bug­ging you, I’ll let Kenneth have the last word.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=726170419 facebook-726170419

    I ain’t no troll, bitch. I MEAN EVERY WORD. Right down to the bat eaters, the hat, and the offer of halvsies air­fare.

    That’s pretty much the antithe­sis of “troll”.
    I’m not try­ing to pro­voke you, peeflap…I’m try­ing to edu­cate you. It’s not my fault you’re stub­born. Sooner or later, though, you’ll catch on. I’ve been more places, speak more lan­guages, hold really VERY impres­sive aca­d­e­mic cre­den­tials, and REALLY CAN kick the liv­ing shit out of any­one you’ve ever met face to face.

    Not a TROLL. And a seri­ously bad moth­er­bitch IN or OUT of the court­room.
    And if you ever care to come check up on my bona fides…I sim­ply invite you to do so.

  • Rory Marinich

    You can’t write for shit, though, and you’re putting all your bona fides into rant­ing on a blog.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=726170419 facebook-726170419

    Need? No sense wish­ing for that which you’re not capa­ble of obtain­ing.

    KNOCK me down? The attempt would be the end of you. The lit­eral fuck­ing END of you.

    You think with a mouth like I run about with no one has ever tried?

    Son…you’re a meat snow­ball. You haven’t the fog­gi­est fuck­ing idea what you’re yam­mer­ing about, and if you’re lucky you never will.

    Halvsies. Keep it up and I might even offer you free flight. Would you come on over if I did? Free air­fare. Meet you at the air­port. Shots first, then we’ll find out what a puss I am.
    If I spring for the air­fare, would you like to come over and teach me to mind my manners?

  • Rory Marinich

    You’re just vom­it­ing out words. It’s the trolling equiv­a­lent of bulemia.

  • http://cousinavi.wordpress.com/ cousi­navi

    Great fuck­ing tripe on a stick…apparently your shit draws traf­fic…
    The click-thrus are sig­nif­i­cant.

    I’m gonna insult you reg­u­larly just for the fuck­ing hits.

    You…ummm…cunt faced moth­er­licker.
    What about the boat times?
    I showed you my down­stairs mixup!
    Have you ever drunk Bailey’s from a shoe?

  • http://cousinavi.wordpress.com/ cousi­navi

    I’m a LAWYER. You didn’t expect to out­WORD me, did you?

  • Rory Marinich

    Then why did I?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=726170419 facebook-726170419

    Back to per­spec­tive, then…and cita­tions that read (Ibid — Rory).

    That’s only valid about your mother’s kitchen table, junior.
    You’ll have to do rather more than that if you want to play.

    It’s fair play to admit you’re out of your league…and there’s two ways you might sort that out.
    1. Admit it and save your­self the trou­ble.
    2. Get buried. It’s what I do for a living…but points for stick­ing it out.

    The end’s the same, and I don’t mind the hits (or the ratty posts from any friends you’ve dragged along). You’re stum­bling through tall grass now.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=726170419 facebook-726170419

    Threads should refresh all the way…not with some “click for more”…“click for more again” options.
    If we’re gonna have a flame-a-thon, let’s not hin­der the embers.

  • Drye

    For Avi — http://​www​.urban​dic​tionary​.com/​d​e​f​i​n​e​.​p​h​p​?​t​erm=…

    For Angry Drunk — I won­der how many times some­one can use “fat” as an insult and expect it to have any type of emo­tional response. I’m fat… It’s not like some­one say­ing “Hey you’re fat!” is news to me, let alone emo­tional . I’m also curi­ous if he has an ongo­ing Explicit Language Mad Libs book­let for which to pick out cool sound­ing rants as well. All in all keep up the good work :)

  • http://www.bynkii.com/ John C. Welch
    You might ask yourself…why would a lawyer CHOOSE to live in Taiwan? What can he DO there that he can­not do at home?.



    Alex, I’ll take “What is molest lit­tle boys with­out fear of pros­e­cu­tion?” for $200

    I get it. Some days, you just need some­thing more than yet another trem­bling Eton n00b. I bet Taiwan is like a fuck­ing smörgås­bord of south­east asian boy colon for you. And really, who wouldn’t rather eat cho­leric sewage that what­ever the fuck it is brits call “food”.

    But seri­ously? “I live in Taiwan, so I must be a bad-ass moth­er­fucker?” Not only a drunken inane twat, but geo­graph­i­cally chal­lenged to. If you want to impress the igno­rant with “I live in Asia, I kick ass like Chuck Norris wishes he could”, then you need to live in Thailand. You know, Muay Thai? Taiwan is the last home of Chiang Kai-Shek and the rest of the losers whose asses Mao so thor­oughly kicked. At least live in fuck­ing REAL China, and not the wannabe, or Korea, or even Japan. But ass-kicking cred amongst the igno­rant from Taiwan? Seriously?

    And I also get why you can only kick someone’s ass in Taiwan. I mean, unlike England, where any­thing more deadly than a long­bow is ille­gal, you have to go to Switzerland to find a more heavily-armed pop­u­lace. Coming to the US to kick someone’s ass only gets you a steel-jacketed tumor from a thou­sand meters.

    I ain’t no troll, bitch. I MEAN EVERY WORD. Right down to the bat eaters, the hat, and the offer of halvsies air­fare.

    That’s pretty much the antithe­sis of “troll”.



    and the liv­ing def­i­n­i­tion of “I have HUGE inter­net balls”

    I’m not try­ing to pro­voke you, peeflap…I’m try­ing to edu­cate you. It’s not my fault you’re stub­born. Sooner or later, though, you’ll catch on. I’ve been more places, speak more lan­guages, hold really VERY impres­sive aca­d­e­mic cre­den­tials, and REALLY CAN kick the liv­ing shit out of any­one you’ve ever met face to face.



    “If I scream loud enough, no one will notice I’m com­pen­sat­ing for Troyeresque penis”

    Oops, too late.

    There’s noth­ing cuter than a rag­ing Brit. It’s like a Jack Russell Terrier, cute but as long as you’re big­ger than a squir­rel, ulti­mately amus­ing, and sat­is­fac­to­rily dealt with by a brick.

  • Rory Marinich
    I’m gonna insult you reg­u­larly just for the fuck­ing hits.



    So… you’re an illit­er­ate troll whose blog gets no atten­tion unless you act like a cunt. Isn’t that what I was telling you in the first place?

  • http://www.bynkii.com/ John C. Welch

    BAILEY’S?

    Oh shit no, that’s only for feed­ing to soror­ity girls so they think anal was their idea.

  • Rory Marinich

    I didn’t know log­or­rhea passed for game. Used to be writ­ing was more than hear­ing the sound of your voice.

  • Bappi

    Hey, my five-year old is in Taiwan right now. Gimme your address, and I’ll send her over to rough you up.

  • http://esthermofet.com esther­mofet

    Well, fuck-a-doodle-do… if he had actu­ally looked at the login page, it has an incred­i­bly help­ful lit­tle clue at the bot­tom that says, “Available at feedafever​.com”. Any suf­fi­ciently curi­ous per­son would then sim­ply think, “Oh, well, let’s jump on over to feedafever​.com and see what we can learn.” Any partially-curious half-wit with a com­puter and an AOL account would then try furi­ously hunt and peck those let­ters into the a search box at the top of any ISP-supplied home page, then maybe click the first link that appears.” Clearly, he didn’t fall into either of those cat­e­gories, so clearly his skill and men­tal capac­ity are rivaled only by small, furry house pets.

    Just sayin’.

  • indiana61

    Damn I’ve been out “cunted”. Have to get my mojo back. Cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt.

    That ought to do it!

  • http://www.theangrydrunk.com The Angry Drunk

    Prick.