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Today’s Round of Idiocy

I write this post with a heavy heart.

Have any of you ever been in the following situation? You know a guy. He’s a smart guy, and you agree with almost all of his opinions, but he’s done or said something so monumentally annoying that you just have to smack him around a bit for it. Well, I’ve just encountered the intertubes version of that.

So, who’s the dipshit in question? I’m glad you asked. It’s “Cousin Avi” of Veritas Nihilum Vincet.

Background time. VNV is a decent enough little blog with a decidedly progressive political bent. I’ve had it in my feed reader for some time, and I quite enjoy reading. Unfortunately, Cousin Avi is apparently as savvy about the internet as his fictional namesake is about the London mob scene.

See, this week I went ahead and switched to Shaun Inman’s nifty new feed reader Fever. For those who’ve somehow missed all the press that Fever has received over the last week, but who still managed to not piss me the fuck off, Fever uses a somewhat unique method of installation. Instead of being a application that you run from your desktop, or something that runs in the cloud (CLOUD!!!) a’la Google Reader, you install Fever to a webserver that you control. In my case the angrydrunk.com webserver.

So Fever, like all newsreaders sends a HTTP referrer string each time it connects to a blog. If you are running a blog and have access to your referrers you’ll see an entry for each connection. For example, here is an entry from my blog stats program (Mint, also by Shuan Inman)

google.com/reader/view/

Pretty simple isn’t it. It just means that a Google Reader user clicked through to a page here. An entry from a Fever user would look much the same, but since Fever runs on my webserver, the originating domain would be www.thangrydrunk.com/fever. If you click that link, since you ain’t me, you’ll see a Fever login screen.

Which brings us to Cousin Avi. My boy Avi reached the login screen, and apparently had a fucking aneurysm. Then, confused and possibly drooling, Avi pokes around the old homestead long enough to find my email address and fires off a half-assed rant at me. Back when the internet first sprang, Athena-like, from Al Gore’s noggin it was considered impolite to publicly post private emails, but fuck that shit. Avi-me-boy opens up with.

So…every once in awhile one of the “referring links” in my blog stats says “Angry drunk dot com / fever”

Slash Fever is some password protected bit of horseshit I’m not permitted to see. So it goes.

So i have a peek at Angry Drunk dot com.

I think…no, I’m certain…I am angrier.

First of all, I want to make a point. Here is a cap of the login screen for Fever:

Fever Login

It may not be obvious here, but there are no less than four links that one may click to take you to either the Fever homepage or Shaun Inman’s page. But let’s ignore that little bit of idiocy.

Avi, I’m so very fucking sorry that my little blog here upset you. No wait, I’m not. Since you didn’t feel the need to comment on any particular bit of content I’ll have to assume that you don’t like the choice of fonts. Well, fuck you. Helvetica rocks.

At this point Avi descends to the standard backup set of insults when someone can’t dredge up any sort of cogent or interesting criticism. “I’m a bigger drunk/angrier guy than you.” Whatever internet tough guy. Come out this hellish desert and I’ll drink you into a stupor, bludgeon you to death, then piss on your corpse. Two can play at the keyboard warrior schtick.

I have to admit, I lied: Avi did offer some bumbling insight into what has drawn his mighty ire.

On closer inspection, you appear to be an obsessed MAC freak. Jesus. God curses me and I reject the very premise of the obviously hateful cunt. Go figure.

You got me fucknuts, I am utterly obsessed with Media Access Control. Oh, wait, you mean “Mac” as in Macintosh computers? Well, even I admit that I do tend to write about Apple frequently, but then again, I also write about New Media Douchbags, politics and my fucked up finger. Besides what did Apple ever do to you? Did a Powerbook kill your pappy?

Avi then eventually rambles off to an mostly unsatisfactory conclusion, much like his sexual encounters I’d imagine, closing with this gem.

Still tho…what the FUCK is “/fever”?….don’t make come over there all stabby.

Like you’d know, Avi, had you spent the two fucking seconds it takes to click any of the links on the Fever page, Fever is a feed reader. Do you spazz the fuck out when you see that Google is spying on you? Hell, you probably do. And, as for the “stabby,” I have what they call around here an Evil Hand, and it’s getting bored with gutting hobos and hookers.

To conclude, if you’re into progressive politics and atheist rants read the Veritas Nihilum Vincet blog, but for the love of Zoroaster, don’t do anything to confuse or startle the mother-fucker running the joint. He might just draft a strongly worded letter at you.