Campaign Promise

May 17th, 2009, by The Angry Drunk

Somewhere along the line in my dia­bol­i­cal plot to become dic­ta­tor of the world I will intro­duce a bill in Congress titled The Internet and Water-Cooler Discourse Reclamation Act. The act will man­date that all cit­i­zens take a basic com­pre­hen­sion test. Those that fail will be implanted with a chip that allows then to only view real­ity tele­vi­sion. That way I don’t have to read or lis­ten to peo­ple inanely debat­ing what hap­pened on the sea­son finale of Lost.

2 comments - (Comments closed)
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  • log­ic­dreamer

    Perhaps, instead of a TV-chip, a li’l GPS track­ing and cyanide inject­ing insta-death cap­sule?

    http://​www​.geekolo​gie​.com/​2​0​0​9​/​0​5​/​i​n​v​e​n​t​o​r​_​d​eni…

    Invented by a Saudi sci­en­tist and tried to patent it in Germany. Covered by Fox News. Let the FUD and stu­pid com­mence.
    Also, bril­liant idea! Next up, those explod­ing neck­bands from Wedlock or Battle Royale.

  • http://www.theangrydrunk.com The Angry Drunk

    Nah, I’m a benev­o­lent dic­ta­tor. I don’t want to kill the morons, just direct them to a level of enter­tain­ment more suited to their tiny atten­tion spans. They can watch all the I Love Money or Dancing With Has-Beens as they would like. I will file that tech­nol­ogy away for other pur­poses though.