The Angry Drunk

Somewhere along the line in my dia­bol­i­cal plot to become dic­ta­tor of the world I will intro­duce a bill in Congress titled The Internet and Water-Cooler Discourse Reclamation Act. The act will man­date that all cit­i­zens take a basic com­pre­hen­sion test. Those that fail will be implanted with a chip that allows then to only view real­ity tele­vi­sion. That way I don’t have to read or lis­ten to peo­ple inanely debat­ing what hap­pened on the sea­son finale of Lost.