For this week’s installment I get that gods damned split off for good!! See the slightly less disgusting pictures below the fold.
Continue reading Gimp Hand Update – 4/29/2009
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 I don’t often bag on Rob Enderle. I mean, where’s the sport in picking apart the scribblings of a guy who looks like your creepy uncle, and who would write an article comparing his own mother to Satan if you greased his palm sufficiently? Nonetheless, Rob’s latest idiotic screed is something that I can’t pass by. So, let’s fire up the RantoMatic 5000™ and get down to business. I’d like to dissect Rob’s article argument by argument. Unfortunately Rob neglected to actually make any arguments. Instead, what we have is a loosely strung together collection of mini-rants, inexplicable links, pathetic attempts at wit, and a bizarre audition for work at Fox News. So, in lieu of a proper tear-down, I’ll settle for pointing out some of the more inane pieces. All shitty articles start with a shitty headline, and this turd is no exception.
You see, what prompted Rob to go into a frenzy was the recent “Baby Shaker” iPhone app incident. I think. It’s really hard to understand the gibberish that Rob spews onto the screen. You see, last week Apple shook a baby to death. Then for a followup they repealed the First Amendment. Or Got my stitches out today, and back into the splint o’ doom I go. No pictures for you.
Gimp Hand 4-19-2009 from Darby Lines on Vimeo. Well, you depraved fuckers seemed to enjoy my last percocet induced ramblings. Here’s part two.
Gimp Hand 4-12-2009 from Darby Lines on Vimeo. I’ve been wanting to play around with some video, and what better way than to horrify people with my ugly mug and hideous hand. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll crap your pants. If you follow me on Twitter, or Facebook or even just particularly pay attention to this site you should know by now that I massively fucked up my hand last weekend. Since then, I have received numerous requests to explain just what the hell happened. I do appreciate the concern (or just sick curiosity) but I haven’t really felt up to the task of typing this all out until now. I’m going to make this fairly brief, since the act of typing is excruciatingly painful. I’m also going to omit specific names and locations. If you already know the whos and wheres, nifty. If not they won’t add to the story. The story begins last Saturday night. I was drinking at a local bar with a good friend of mine. Nothing out of the ordinary. As I was drinking I noticed that there was something not quite right with my barstool. For those not in the know, the stools at this particular joint are basically a welded steel frame with a cheap seat bolted to the top. What I was noticing was that it seemed that the upholstery of my stool was coming unfastened. What I didn’t know was that the reality was much more Quick note for those who don’t already know. On Saturday night I was in an accident that claimed about one centimeter from the tip of my left ring finger. Updates will be a bit sparse while I join Rush Limbaugh in the sweet release of Oxycontin. Oh Lordy did my man Shawn King stir up a nest of MacMacs with his opinion piece today titled Steve Jobs Should Not Come Back to Apple. And, since it’s not in my nature to let any decent shit-storm remain unstirred, I think I’ll add my two cents. First though. fair warning to those who only read this blog to see me froth at the mouth and call people “cum guzzling ass weasels.” Since Shawn is one of the vanishingly few writers on the whole gods damned Internet who’s capable of stringing together more than one cogent thought without resorting to a cornucopia of logical fallacies and link-baiting idiocy, I’m inclined to engage in actual discourse. Yeah, I’m disappointed too. Anywho, moving on to matter at hand. Shawn makes two propositions in the article. First, that Apple does not need Steve Jobs as CEO, and second, that Steve Jobs would be better served by not returning in that capacity. On the first proposition, you will hear no argument from me. I’ve always maintained that the sturm und drang from the so-called “media” regarding Steve’s health and his role within Apple was absolute idiocy. To quote Shawn:
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