Gimp Hand Update — 4÷29÷2009

April 29th, 2009, by The Angry Drunk

For this week’s install­ment I get that gods damned split off for good!! See the slightly less dis­gust­ing pic­tures below the fold.

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Rob Enderle: A Douche for All Seasons

April 28th, 2009, by The Angry Drunk

I don’t often bag on Rob Enderle. I mean, where’s the sport in pick­ing apart the scrib­blings of a guy who looks like your creepy uncle, and who would write an arti­cle com­par­ing his own mother to Satan if you greased his palm suf­fi­ciently? Nonetheless, Rob’s lat­est idi­otic screed is some­thing that I can’t pass by. So, let’s fire up the RantoMatic 5000™ and get down to business.

I’d like to dis­sect Rob’s arti­cle argu­ment by argu­ment. Unfortunately Rob neglected to actu­ally make any argu­ments. Instead, what we have is a loosely strung together col­lec­tion of mini-rants, inex­plic­a­ble links, pathetic attempts at wit, and a bizarre audi­tion for work at Fox News. So, in lieu of a proper tear-down, I’ll set­tle for point­ing out some of the more inane pieces.

All shitty arti­cles start with a shitty head­line, and this turd is no exception.

Apple Shakes Baby, Kills Freedom of Speech

You see, what prompted Rob to go into a frenzy was the recent “Baby Shaker” iPhone app inci­dent. I think. It’s really hard to under­stand the gib­ber­ish that Rob spews onto the screen. You see, last week Apple shook a baby to death. Then for a fol­lowup they

Continue read­ing Rob Enderle: A Douche for All Seasons


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Stitch

April 22nd, 2009, by The Angry Drunk
blurb

Got my stitches out today, and back into the splint o’ doom I go. No pic­tures for you.

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Gimp Hand the Movie II: Electric Boogaloo

April 19th, 2009, by The Angry Drunk

Gimp Hand 4-19-2009 from Darby Lines on Vimeo.

Well, you depraved fuck­ers seemed to enjoy my last per­co­cet induced ram­blings. Here’s part two.

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Gimp Hand Update — 4÷15÷2009

April 15th, 2009, by The Angry Drunk

It bog­gles my mind, but some of you sick fucks seem to enjoy these pic­tures. Whatever blows your skirt up.

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Gimp Hand — the Movie

April 12th, 2009, by The Angry Drunk

Gimp Hand 4-12-2009 from Darby Lines on Vimeo.

I’ve been want­ing to play around with some video, and what bet­ter way than to hor­rify peo­ple with my ugly mug and hideous hand. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll crap your pants.

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Night Out to Nightmare in Thirty Seconds.

April 10th, 2009, by The Angry Drunk

If you fol­low me on Twitter, or Facebook or even just par­tic­u­larly pay atten­tion to this site you should know by now that I mas­sively fucked up my hand last week­end. Since then, I have received numer­ous requests to explain just what the hell hap­pened. I do appre­ci­ate the con­cern (or just sick curios­ity) but I haven’t really felt up to the task of typ­ing this all out until now. I’m going to make this fairly brief, since the act of typ­ing is excru­ci­at­ingly painful. I’m also going to omit spe­cific names and loca­tions. If you already know the whos and wheres, nifty. If not they won’t add to the story.

The story begins last Saturday night. I was drink­ing at a local bar with a good friend of mine. Nothing out of the ordi­nary. As I was drink­ing I noticed that there was some­thing not quite right with my barstool. For those not in the know, the stools at this par­tic­u­lar joint are basi­cally a welded steel frame with a cheap seat bolted to the top. What I was notic­ing was that it seemed that the uphol­stery of my stool was com­ing unfas­tened. What I didn’t

Continue read­ing Night Out to Nightmare in Thirty Seconds.


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Gimp Hand

April 8th, 2009, by The Angry Drunk

For the mor­bidly curious:

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Gimp

April 7th, 2009, by The Angry Drunk
blurb

Quick note for those who don’t already know. On Saturday night I was in an acci­dent that claimed about one cen­time­ter from the tip of my left ring finger.

Updates will be a bit sparse while I join Rush Limbaugh in the sweet release of Oxycontin.

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What Should Steve Jobs Do?

April 1st, 2009, by The Angry Drunk

Oh Lordy did my man Shawn King stir up a nest of MacMacs with his opin­ion piece today titled Steve Jobs Should Not Come Back to Apple. And, since it’s not in my nature to let any decent shit-storm remain unstirred, I think I’ll add my two cents.

First though. fair warn­ing to those who only read this blog to see me froth at the mouth and call peo­ple “cum guz­zling ass weasels.” Since Shawn is one of the van­ish­ingly few writ­ers on the whole gods damned Internet who’s capa­ble of string­ing together more than one cogent thought with­out resort­ing to a cor­nu­copia of log­i­cal fal­lac­ies and link-baiting idiocy, I’m inclined to engage in actual dis­course. Yeah, I’m dis­ap­pointed too.

Anywho, mov­ing on to mat­ter at hand.

Shawn makes two propo­si­tions in the arti­cle. First, that Apple does not need Steve Jobs as CEO, and sec­ond, that Steve Jobs would be bet­ter served by not return­ing in that capacity.

On the first propo­si­tion, you will hear no argu­ment from me. I’ve always main­tained that the sturm und drang from the so-called “media” regard­ing Steve’s health and his role within Apple was absolute idiocy. To quote Shawn:

Tim Cook, from

Continue read­ing What Should Steve Jobs Do?


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