Scott Moritz: Idiotic Douchebag or Moronic Cock-Sucker? You Decide

Jesus fuck me Christ! I’ve read some stu­pid crap, from some stu­pid fuck­ing “writ­ers” over the years, but the unadul­ter­ated shit that Scott Moritz spews out has got to take the cake. Seriously, if you are stu­pid enough to make a sin­gle stock trade based on the tripe that this Uncle Fester look­ing douche-nozzle vom­its forth you deserve to not only lose your money, but to be drug out onto the floor of the New York Stock Exchange and shot in the head.

Last week we had this idi­otic turd of an arti­cle report­ing on the iPhone 3.0 pre­view event. Here’s a clue Scott. When you can’t even get the basic facts of the fuck­ing story cor­rect, you should prob­a­bly just go hang your­self. Hint, the iPhone push noti­fi­ca­tion ser­vice isn’t being pro­vided by Meebo you fuckwad.

But Scott isn’t con­tent to just be a tal­ent­less inat­ten­tive hack. No, he’s going for the gold with this unfath­omably insane piece of dri­vel. I’ll start with the head­line itself.

Apple’s Netbook Foray Will Flop

Think about that for a sec­ond. Really let it roll around in your head. Yes, Scott (I shave my head so I look like my hero Jim Cramer) Moritz is really, hon­estly writ­ing an arti­cle to pre­dict that a prod­uct that Apple has not announced in any way shape or form will fail. Hey, Scott, if your crys­tal ball is so fuck­ing pow­er­ful, why didn’t you tell Jimmy not to go on The Daily Show, huh?

I could dis­sect this steam­ing mass of chimp feces line by line, but gods know I have more impor­tant things to do with my time (my mid-morning gin infu­sion is due soon). So, instead I’ll be a nice guy and offer Scott some heart-felt advice. I know that it’s hard to focus when you have Jim Cramer’s cock rammed firmly up your ass and he keeps slap­ping your bald nog­gin scream­ing, “BUY BUY BUY.” But please, for the love of all that’s holy, try and pay some atten­tion to the shit your writ­ing. For the sake of my san­ity if noth­ing else.