Scott Moritz: Idiotic Douchebag Or Moronic Cock-sucker? You Decide

Jesus fuck me Christ! I’ve read some stupid crap, from some stupid fucking “writers” over the years, but the unadulterated shit that Scott Moritz spews out has got to take the cake. Seriously, if you are stupid enough to make a single stock trade based on the tripe that this Uncle Fester looking douche-nozzle vomits forth you deserve to not only lose your money, but to be drug out onto the floor of the New York Stock Exchange and shot in the head.

Last week we had this idiotic turd of an article reporting on the iPhone 3.0 preview event. Here’s a clue Scott. When you can’t even get the basic facts of the fucking story correct, you should probably just go hang yourself. Hint, the iPhone push notification service isn’t being provided by Meebo you fuckwad.

But Scott isn’t content to just be a talentless inattentive hack. No, he’s going for the gold with this unfathomably insane piece of drivel. I’ll start with the headline itself.

Apple’s Netbook Foray Will Flop

Think about that for a second. Really let it roll around in your head. Yes, Scott (I shave my head so I look like my hero Jim Cramer) Moritz is really, honestly writing an article to predict that a product that Apple has not announced in any way shape or form will fail. Hey, Scott, if your crystal ball is so fucking powerful, why didn’t you tell Jimmy not to go on The Daily Show, huh?

I could dissect this steaming mass of chimp feces line by line, but gods know I have more important things to do with my time (my mid-morning gin infusion is due soon). So, instead I’ll be a nice guy and offer Scott some heart-felt advice. I know that it’s hard to focus when you have Jim Cramer’s cock rammed firmly up your ass and he keeps slapping your bald noggin screaming, “BUY BUY BUY.” But please, for the love of all that’s holy, try and pay some attention to the shit your writing. For the sake of my sanity if nothing else.