Great Expectations

January 6th, 2009, by The Angry Drunk

sigh

So, it seems that I’m going to have to explain real­ity to the MacMacs yet again. I know you’re all busy dust­ing off your hair-shirts and prepar­ing for the inevitable round of self-flagellation that you so love to indulge in after every Apple announce­ment. But please, for the love of Moloch, try and actu­ally think for a minute here.

Apple is pulling out of Macworld Conference and Expo after this year. Ascribe to that what­ever con­spir­acy the­ory makes your fuzzy lit­tle heads warm; but it’s a sim­ple fact. Corollary to that fact; Steve Jobs wasn’t going to deliver the Keynote. Again, come up with what­ever “moon-landing-was-a-hoax” the­ory you want to to explain that; but it’s a fact.

So, given those facts; did you really, really, think that Apple was going to make some earth-shattering announce­ments today? Did you hon­estly believe that this was going to be any­thing other than the most banal and hum-drum Keynote since Jobs returned. Why, in the name of all that’s unholy would Apple go and prove that every­one who cru­ci­fied them for pulling out of the Expo was right.

Really, use your frack­ing brains you nimrods!

12 comments - (Comments closed)
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  • Anonymous

    Replace “MacMacs” with “MacTwats”. I think it reads better!

    Oh fuck! What a bunch of cnuts!

    I am not so much drunk as disoriented!

    • http://www.theangrydrunk.com The Angry Drunk

      “MacTwat” has a cer­tain ring; but I’m merely using the stan­dard nomen­cla­ture.

  • indiana61 (self fla­gel­lat­ing wanktard)

    Replace “MacMacs” with “MacTwats”. I think it reads better!

    Oh fuck! What a bunch of cnuts!

    I am not so much drunk as disoriented!

    • http://www.theangrydrunk.com The Angry Drunk

      “MacTwat” has a cer­tain ring; but I’m merely using the stan­dard nomen­cla­ture.

  • Anonymous

    Aha, yep, i see what you mean.

  • indiana61 (self fla­gel­lat­ing wanktard)

    Aha, yep, i see what you mean.

  • http://ripragged.blogspot.com Anonymous

    I think most of the inco­her­ent noise sur­round­ing this one wasn’t MacMacs. Really. They’re pun­dit­bots and fund­tards. N00bish “mac­mac wannabes” try­ing to sound like they belong.You can spot them try­ing to cre­ate an expec­ta­tion that Steve Jobs would appear just so they could seem to be dis­ap­pointed about some­thing. If they don’t invent some­thing, there’s noth­ing to be dis­ap­pointed about. Apple deliv­ered more (some­thing) than it promised (nothing).MacMacs are unfairly vil­lainized this time. The real cul­prit in this one is the dumb cunt financial/tech pun­dit­bots and fund­tards who’ve tried to make Master Jobst Fimil into some kind of rit­ual talisman.I think MacTwats should be a new pigeon­hole just for those flac­cid members.

    • http://www.theangrydrunk.com The Angry Drunk

      Rip, I don’t dis­agree re: the media and ana­lysts. It’s been appar­ent to me for some time that they pur­pose­fully whip up Macworld expec­ta­tions in order to drive traf­fic (in the case of the media) and manip­u­late the stock price (in the case of the ana­lysts). But here I’m specif­i­cally refer­ring to the blog­tards and forum­tards who imme­di­ately went into spasms of grief after the keynote yes­ter­day. I’m actu­ally sur­prised that we haven’t had a post-keynote sui­cide yet. Of course, all of this goes to show exactly why Apple is pulling out of the Expo.

  • http://rip-ragged.com/dross Rip Ragged

    I think most of the inco­her­ent noise sur­round­ing this one wasn’t MacMacs. Really. They’re pun­dit­bots and fund­tards. N00bish “mac­mac wannabes” try­ing to sound like they belong.You can spot them try­ing to cre­ate an expec­ta­tion that Steve Jobs would appear just so they could seem to be dis­ap­pointed about some­thing. If they don’t invent some­thing, there’s noth­ing to be dis­ap­pointed about. Apple deliv­ered more (some­thing) than it promised (nothing).MacMacs are unfairly vil­lainized this time. The real cul­prit in this one is the dumb cunt financial/tech pun­dit­bots and fund­tards who’ve tried to make Master Jobst Fimil into some kind of rit­ual talisman.I think MacTwats should be a new pigeon­hole just for those flac­cid members.

    • http://www.theangrydrunk.com The Angry Drunk

      Rip,

       I don’t dis­agree re: the media and ana­lysts. It’s been appar­ent to me for some time that they pur­pose­fully whip up Macworld expec­ta­tions in order to drive traf­fic (in the case of the media) and manip­u­late the stock price (in the case of the ana­lysts). But here I’m specif­i­cally refer­ring to the blog­tards and forum­tards who imme­di­ately went into spasms of grief after the keynote yes­ter­day. I’m actu­ally sur­prised that we haven’t had a post-keynote sui­cide yet. Of course, all of this goes to show exactly why Apple is pulling out of the Expo.
  • http://ripragged.blogspot.com Anonymous

    If you watch the movie Pale Rider, there’s a part right at the end.…The Man With No Name has killed all of Cockburn’s deputies. His hat is lay­ing in the mid­dle of the dusty street.Macworld Expo 2009 was Apple pick­ing it’s hat up, and dust­ing it off.Over the next few weeks we’ll look at Apple’s eyes as they snap out the empty cylin­der from their revolver and replace it with a freshly loaded one, all the while strid­ing at one spur-jangle-per-second toward the con­fused and fright­ened opponent.Macworld ’09 will be the point at which tech his­to­ri­ans will note Apple’s Enola Gay flew over Microsoft’s Hiroshima.

  • http://rip-ragged.com/dross Rip Ragged

    If you watch the movie Pale Rider, there’s a part right at the end.…The Man With No Name has killed all of Cockburn’s deputies. His hat is lay­ing in the mid­dle of the dusty street.Macworld Expo 2009 was Apple pick­ing it’s hat up, and dust­ing it off.Over the next few weeks we’ll look at Apple’s eyes as they snap out the empty cylin­der from their revolver and replace it with a freshly loaded one, all the while strid­ing at one spur-jangle-per-second toward the con­fused and fright­ened opponent.Macworld ’09 will be the point at which tech his­to­ri­ans will note Apple’s Enola Gay flew over Microsoft’s Hiroshima.