Tech Pundits, Take Yo’ Meds!

For the love of sweet baby Zoroaster, what is it with the tech media and their never end­ing propen­sity to con­flate the voices in their heads with real­ity? Case in point, here’s a blog post from Daniel Ionescu of PC World that I picked up via MacWorld. The gist of the post is sim­ple: net­books out­sold iPhones for one quar­ter, there­fore it’s time to announce that the time of the net­book has arrived. Of course, there is the usual leap of faith asser­tion that this devel­op­ment may also mean that Apple is on the verge of pro­duc­ing a net­book of their own.

Where to begin with this?

First, how about the fact that the over­lap between the net­book mar­ket and the iPhone mar­ket is so minis­cule that it heav­ily approx­i­mates the prob­a­bil­ity of Angelina Jolie walk­ing into my office in the next hour and offer­ing me sex. An iPhone is not a net­book; and, while an iPhone may be able to do many of the tasks that a net­book does, I don’t know of any net­books that fit in my pocket. Besides, you look awfully retarded hold­ing a net­book up to your head and call­ing mom.

Second, I know that you tech pun­dits have an all con­sum­ing desire to see Apple com­pete in every mar­ket in the known Universe; but you really need to stop mis­tak­ing the voices in your head for offi­cial Apple PR. Apple may, or it may not decide to pro­duce an net­book. They may, or they may not decide to pro­duce a mid-range desk­top. Who knows, with Steve in charge they may even decide to pro­duce a line of high end toaster ovens. But there is one thing I do know. The only thing that the voices in your head are good for is pick­ing out the next hobo to skin.