Friday Fabulous Forum Fucktard Follies

Hell, I’m bored. So I think I’ll start culling the gems of stu­pid­ity from var­i­ous forums. If I have to expe­ri­ence this pain; so should you.

Kicking things off we have this win­ner from the Macworld Forums.

My facts are 100% cor­rect!!! In my expe­ri­ence with the I-phone!!! Some of them are what I think about what it is… and it may not be the same with you. I built navigation/HD tech­nolo­gies for the future. and I know how to use the i-phone to its lim­its. Personaly I don’t care what peo­ple may few about my com­ments… But they are my facts and they are cor­rect. There are many things I did like about the G1 and it is an ugly phone… But it does make the i-phone a stu­pid phone and you want use for work and not play­ing games and stu­pid appli­ca­tions. Just take the touch off the I-phone and you go back to 1995 on the PC expe­ri­ence. Come on!!!! They can do bet­ter and I hope they will… because tech­nol­ogy changes every sec­ond… and now they I-phone is behind to what is com­ing soon…

Yeah, it’s an iPhone kil­lah rant (

Continue read­ing Friday Fabulous Forum Fucktard Follies


Irony

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It’s deli­cious.

Credit to Karl Gunnars via Twitter.

Good Job Apple

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I’m going to join in the cho­rus of peo­ple prais­ing Apple for their stance on California’s Proposition 8. I frankly don’t give a tinker’s damn who you want to fuck; but the idea of the state keep­ing two peo­ple who love each other from cer­ti­fy­ing that love, based on the whims of a bunch of ass­holes and their three thou­sand year old fairy tale needs to be slapped down hard. Unfortunately, Arizona has a sim­i­lar propo­si­tion on our bal­lot. How about it Steve, wanna shoot a few grand our way?

I Gave at the Office

So, my office is doing a canned food drive for a local food bank. Ok, that’s cool, laud­able even. Now, how are we going to imple­ment this? A box in the break room per­haps, where peo­ple can qui­etly donate as their con­science dictates?

Oh. Fuck. No.

No, instead we’ve been divvied up into teams, appar­ently via some ran­dom algo­rithm since I have no idea who these peo­ple are. Then a “team cap­tain” is appointed to send out obnox­ious rah-rah emails. And why, dear read­ers do we need rah-rah emails? Because, of course since this office has a ten to one ratio of Sales douches to nor­mal peo­ple, we’ve gone and made this into a com­pe­ti­tion. Yes indeedy, don’t donate because it helps peo­ple, donate to get a splen­dif­er­ous half day off. Sometimes I think that these retards are inca­pable of tak­ing a crap unless some­one posts the results to a “leader­board” somewhere.

To add idiocy to obnox­ious­ness, the lat­est douchemail from the “cap­tain” encour­ages us to buy cases of bot­tled water. Because, you know, it’s more effi­cient for me to pro­vide water at $.75 a pop than it is for the food bank to use the taps at $.01 a

Continue read­ing I Gave at the Office


Rumor

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I have it on good author­ity that the next iter­a­tion of Apple lap­top line will return to hav­ing two dis­play options: UltraGloss — This highly reflec­tive sur­face is per­fect for the MacMac enti­tle­tard to gaze lov­ingly into his or her own vis­age and revel in the world where every gods damned thing is about them. Matte Xtreme — For the real “pro­fes­sional” this coat­ing will absorb all vis­i­ble light, mak­ing glare truly a thing of the past.

Entitletard Holocaust

So, you may have heard that Apple recently released new MacBooks and MacBook Pros. Amongst var­i­ous changes the shiny new MacBook now no longer has any sort of FireWire con­nec­tiv­ity. Because we’re talk­ing Apple here, and Apple “fans” are the biggest bunch of whiny enti­tle­tards on the face of the planet; this change has gen­er­ated a ver­i­ta­ble Large Hadron Collider’s worth of retarded bitch­ing. The worst of the bunch though, which I present with min­i­mal com­ment is the Macworld Forums dis­cus­sion.

All I can really say is:

Ye

Fucking

Gods

300 plus (at the time I’m writ­ing this) posts of the most igno­rant, enti­tled bull­shit that I’ve ever seen. When you strip out the few posts by peo­ple with legit­i­mate issues, those hon­estly seek­ing infor­ma­tion, and my brother from another mother Bynkii try­ing to give peo­ple options (in his usual charm­ing man­ner) you end up with a sin­gle refrain. “Apple owes me a shiny new lap­top with all the fix­ins’. Gimme gimme gimme!”

It’s the fuck­ing Entitletard Holocaust.

No Comment

Goo Goo Googly Goodness

Back when the iPhone devel­op­ers were still get­ting their whine on regard­ing the “Fucking NDA” and other Apple crimes against human­ity (lit­tle known fact, the Geneva Conventions have a sec­tion regard­ing cell phone devel­op­ment) one of the more fre­quent refrains was “I’ll go develop for Android then.” Because, of course, a giant adver­tis­ing com­pany would auto­mat­i­cally be more “open” (what­ever the fuck that means); even though there has yet to be a sin­gle shred of evi­dence pro­vided that the actual man­u­fac­tur­ers and car­ri­ers will let you mod­ify Android based phones in the slight­est. But, hey, it’s Google, they can do no wrong; so they must be bet­ter than Apple. Right?

Imagine then, the utter shock that I expe­ri­enced tho dis­cover that Google is putting a appli­ca­tion kill-switch into Android. SHOCKED I SAY!!! I can only react to this in one way.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Wait, let me catch my breath…

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I’m going to make a pre­dic­tion. The car­ri­ers are going to lock down your pre­cious GooglePhones tighter than a drum; and your bud­dies at Google aren’t going to do a damn thing to fight it.

MacBook

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I’ll prob­a­bly opine more on this later (or not); but my first impres­sion of the new MacBook/MacBook Pro/LCD Monitor setup from Apple is…“want.”

Update

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I ain’t dead folks. Just got back from Mexico and I’m catch­ing up.