Here’s One for All the New Media Douchebags in the House.

So, I’m sit­ting here in my office, work­ing dili­gently (seri­ously, for any poten­tial employ­ers out there, I’m work­ing my ass off). I’m also see­ing tweets fly by, and read­ing blog posts by Robert “I have more fol­low­ers that God (lit­er­ally, 31,617 vs 600 as of this post­ing)” Scoble shilling the lat­est New Media Douchebag Approved™ social blog­ging net­work what­ever. Meanwhile, over in my email client a funny thing is hap­pen­ing. People I know, peo­ple I would even go so far as to call friends are email­ing back and forth, plan­ning a happy hour gath­er­ing for tomor­row (and inci­den­tally accus­ing each other of being either hip­pies or red-necks).

Email! I know, it’s fuck­ing shock­ing. I mean, it’s so 1990’s. No Loopt, no Twitter, not even a dynamic group blog lever­ag­ing social net­works. Fucking email. Even worse, and I’m embar­rassed to admit this, some of us will actu­ally tele­phone peo­ple not on the mail­ing list to give them the heads up. We may even use landlines.

The point behind the snark here? This is what actual friends do; and this is the point that the New Media Douchebags fail to miss. Things like Twitter, and MySpace, and blogs, and Loopt are there

Continue read­ing Here’s One for All the New Media Douchebags in the House.


Chuq on MobileMe

Ok gang, I’m throw­ing this out there as sup­port for my call for the blo­gok­lein­bot­tle to lay off the “Apple had a bad month, they’re doooomed” bull­shit. Here is Chuq Von Rospach, a man who actu­ally know that the hell he’s talk­ing about (imag­ine that) com­ment­ing on the MobileMe launch fiasco, and Apple’s response.

Addendum:

And, of course, the first com­ment on Chuq’s piece is some­one talk­ing out of their ass to dis­agree with him. Gotta love the inter­net: everyone’s an expert, except the peo­ple who fuck­ing know what they’re talk­ing about.

This Shit Needs to Stop!

Breaking head­line from the jack-holes at iPodNN.

Dev Team: iPhone 3G own­ers should avoid 2.0.1 update

Ok, let’s see what’s wrong with this, start­ing with the headline.

“Dev Team:”

Which “Dev Team?” Apple’s? Someone who’s opin­ion I give two shits about? No, of course not. It’s the ever so mature cre­ators of the “Pwnage Tool”.

“iPhone 3G owners”

Wait, I’m an iPhone 3G owner! What’s the 2.0.1 update going to do to me? Absolutely noth­ing. To quote the article:

The cre­ators of the PwnageTool note that while the update is offi­cially meant to fix bugs, it also makes changes to the under­ly­ing base­band code, which could poten­tially block any future attempts to unlock an iPhone. At the least, the update undoes any jail­break­ing per­formed with PwnageTool.

Heavens To Murgatroyd, you mean Apple may feel the need to update their own hard­ware in a way that doesn’t nec­es­sar­ily play fair with “Pwnage”? The monop­o­list bastards!

To be fair, the blog post by the “Pwnage” peo­ple is a fair bit less FUDy than the iPodNN head­line; since they at least acknowl­edge the actual audi­ence that is effected by this. So I’ll have to direct the major­ity of my ire

Continue read­ing This Shit Needs to Stop!


Tone Down the Hyperbole You Vapid Twats!

Ok, so July 2008 isn’t going to go down in the annals of Apple his­tory as one of the company’s bet­ter months. The Mobile Me launch was han­dled badly at best, iPhone 3G demand exceeded sup­plies by a retarded mar­gin (oy to have that prob­lem), iPhone devel­op­ers are still unbear­ably shack­led by the “fuck­ing” NDA, and Apple was abysmally late with a set of secu­rity updates. No one who isn’t a com­plete and utter tool would argue that any of the above-mentioned issues is a good thing; but really, does every sin­gle story involv­ing them have to end with dire warn­ings of impend­ing Apple-doom?

Yes, Apple screwed the pooch big time on a few dif­fer­ent items here, but they’ve fucked up worse before, and I’ll bet you a shiny dime they fuck up worse some­time in the future. Look at this as a learn­ing oppor­tu­nity. In the mean­time, here’s a des­per­ate plea to the “jour­nal­ists” out there. Tone down the FUD and breath­less hyper­bole; it only serves to insult your read­ers’ intel­li­gence and make you look like a ninny. Thanks.

PS:

Apple is either “all mar­ket­ing and PR” or “has worth­less at PR.” Pick one, you can’t have both.

I’m Not Dead.

Just a quick note to my loyal read­ers (sorry started laugh­ing at that then lost my breath), I’m not actu­ally deceased. I’ve just been too busy/hungover/flu-infested to gen­er­ate a proper rant.

That is all.