I’m declaring a zero tolerance policy towards the willfully ignorant, the terminally self absorbed, and the criminally selfish. To take a page from the author David Brin, I am part of a civilization, and so are you. What does that mean? It means that responding to the issues of the day with facile responses such as “the government’s always been corrupt,” or “why bother the election is fixed,” or similar tripe is no longer acceptable. Slightly more acceptable is commentary that adequately exposes the commenter as being an dick, who’s only out for their own interests. Such people are evil; but mocking them amuses me. In short, if you aren’t ready to join the rest of the human race, Fuck Off And Get Off My Planet.
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 This is my dream for Obama’s first press conference after the inauguration: Obama walks to the podium. Suddenly old-school hip hop starts playing and Obama yells, “Yo! Yo! Yo my negroes! Where all the white women at up in the hizz-ouse?” Once the screams of horror and panic die down the music will stop, and Obama will calmly say, “Yeah, that’s what I thought. Screw you honkey motherfuckers.” Apparently the new right wing tactic is to express their concern that we progressives don’t get our hopes up too high over Obama. Thanks douchebags, I think we’ll manage. If I ever go into porn, my stage name will be “Deuce McCockle.” Before getting started here I want to make a few things clear. I do not like the Clintons; neither Hillary or Bubba. I’m firmly of the opinion that they, and the Democratic Leadership Council that they represent are, in many ways, nothing more than “Republican Lite.” Having said that, if the situation was different and Hillary had cinched the nomination, not only would I be voting for her in November; I would be enthusiastically campaigning for her the whole way. Not because I like her or dislike McCain, not because of any “loyalty” to the Democratic party, but out of loyalty to the United States of America. Because I don’t think that the lower and middle classes of this country can survive even another four years of the criminally inept “leadership” that the real Republicans bring to the table. Now, given that, I have to say “thank you” to Hillary for the speach she gave last night at the Democratic National Convention (text here). It couldn’t have been easy for Senator Clinton to swallow her pride and deliver the rousing endorsement of Barack Obama that she did. And have no doubt, it was an endorsement; regardless of how the Old Media Douchebags I’m going to take a quick break from Apple and New Media Douchebag related topics to point out some Old Media Douchebaggery. I don’t follow sports much (read, “at all”) but I can spot some dipshit logic as well and anyone, so this piece by Alan Abrahamson at nbcolympics.com caught my eye. The bottom line is that some Jamaican cat named Usain Bolt broke some world records. Apparently this dude is really fast. The part that I want to highlight is this. After questioning whether Mr. Bolt is under the influence of anything more powerful than some tasty jerk chicken, Abrahamson writes:
Fuck me running! Isn’t that the point of breaking a record? Apparently, in Alan’s mind, doing anything more competently than a neanderthal MacRumors is reporting that some bunch named the American Customer Satisfaction Index have ranked Apple at the top of some customer satisfaction survey. But wait, I thought that Apple was doomed by it’s horrible hubris to a fate worse than corporate death. Oh, that’s just what the doucheblogs want us to think. In reality, the average consumer probably hasn’t even heard of the majority of the issues that we’ve all been nattering about for the last few months. Let me tell you a story… Once upon a time, when I was at EarthLink, I was part of the team that was in charge of data gathering and reporting for customer satisfaction survey data. This means that, among the various unpleasant things I was responsible for, I had not only access to the compiled survey return data but access to the raw stream of survey returns. Of particular note was the survey comments. Based on the comments that we were getting back, it was obvious that EarthLink was possibly the worst company on the face of the planet, and we should all kill ourselves out of embarrassment (a thesis that I’m not exactly disputing). Now, here’s where it gets amusing. The Hey kids, got this one via the whiny fuckers over at The Consumerist under the delightfully wrong title of AT&T Won’t Honor iPhone Price Announced In Its Own Press Release. The long and short of it is that our Douchebag of the Week contender “Rom” wants an iPhone 3G, and he doesn’t want to pay the unsubsidised price, even though he recently bought a BlackBerry from AT&T too. Hey, chucklefuck, wake up! This is how the subsidized phone trade works. The sooner you dips realize this, the sooner I can stop mainlining Pepto Bismol. I guess I can’t be too hard on Rom though, he is a Ferengi, and we all know what cheap fuckers they are. (Via Consumerist.) In a welcome break from the current torrent of “Apple is dooomed” reporting, Jason Snell over at MacWorld hits on, what I think, is the real story in this piece. Jason’s argument, which I agree with whole-heartedly, is that the string of Apple failures leading up to July’s mega fiasco is the result of Apple simply biting off more than it can chew. I think that this is self-evident, and if you look carefully I think that you can see the seeds of this situation going all the way back to the release of Tiger and the PPC to Intel transition. Additionally, I think that the signs are there for those who want to see them that Apple gets this, and is working to pull themselves out of the hole. As one tiny piece of evidence I’ll point to the “no major features” Snow Leopard release. The bottom line is, Apple isn’t “arrogant,” or “incompetent.” They’re simply facing the consequences of being too successful. |
 
 
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