The Angry Drunk

In a nicely ill-timed move (given the flurry of iPhone OS and App Store release news) PC Magazine ran a won­der­ful lit­tle piece of tripe by Dan Costa titled “Don’t Buy an iPhone 3G

“The iPhone 3G is AT&T only.”

The iPhone 3G costs more than $199.

Christ, the Total Cost of Ownership thing again. Seriously peo­ple, give this shit a rest. I have never

The iPhone 3G isn’t worth the upgrade.

Guess what chuckle-nuts, not every­one buy­ing an iPhone 3G is upgrad­ing. I explained this before here, and I’m not inclined to repeat myself. But beyond that, check out this exam­ple of Dan’s blind­ing logic.

There’s no short­age of iPhones already out there. Walk down a New York City street and you’ll see them every­where. I’d go as far as to say that any­one who really wanted an iPhone already has one.

Really, care to cite what mar­ket research led you to that con­clu­sion. Oh, I guess that the firm of Pulled Out My Ass doesn’t like publicity.

The iPhone 3G’s bat­tery life is going to suck.

To quote Dan:

Unfortunately, I don’t know this for sure since Apple didn’t give us the head start it gave to David Pogue of The New York Times and author of iPhone: The Missing Manual. Still, this has been a chronic prob­lem for 3G phones of all varieties.

every other 3G phone out there.

The iPhone 3G’s stor­age is lim­ited to 16GB.

Quoth the moron:

Right now 8GB and 16GB are your only choices, but I bet we’ll see a 32GB ver­sion by the end of the year. At 32GB you’ll have a device that could truly serve as a full-time iPod replace­ment, with room to store thou­sands of MP3s and high-quality video files. Now that might be worth buying-depending on the price.

So. PC’s will get faster and hard dri­ves will get big­ger and TV’s will get cheaper and a whole host of tech prod­ucts will improve over time. Seriously Dan, are you chan­nel­ing my mother?

The iPhone 3G is not a fea­ture leader.

Um, in what fuck­ing uni­verse. Quoting again:

What’s miss­ing: sup­port for addi­tional flash mem­ory; stereo Bluetooth sup­port; pic­ture mes­sag­ing; video record­ing; and the rudi­men­tary abil­ity to cut-and-paste text. Its 2-megapixel cam­era doesn’t even have a flash! In short, there are free phones with bet­ter fea­tures than the iPhone 3G.

No, Dan, there are free phones that have one or two of those fea­tures. And, last time I checked, none of them have Mobile Safari and the App Store. But, hey, you didn’t whine about a phys­i­cal key­board, so points there.

In every other story you read, the iPhone is being spun as the apex of tech­no­log­i­cal sophis­ti­ca­tion. The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, and USA Today reviews, writ­ten by authors hand­picked by Steve Jobs to receive early review units, have been pre­dictably glow­ing and effusive.

Hmm, could some­one be jeal­ous that they didn’t get a review unit?