Mainly because the only reporting I’ve seen on it was from the losers at Lifehacker. And what tripe am I writing about? Well, another “Don’t buy an iPhone” shit-piece from none other than the unwashed freetards at the Free Software Foundation. You know, your go-to neckbeards for opinions on consumer electronics. So, let’s take a quick belt of The Gin, fire up the Ranto-Matic 5000 and take a look at what I’m sure will be a reasonable essay.
iPhone completely blocks free software. Developers must pay a tax to Apple, who becomes the sole authority over what can and can’t be on everyone’s phones.
Really? I guess it sucks to be in the iPhone hacking community. I mean, I don’t like you dorks and you don’t like me; but I at least acknowledge that you exist. Right off the bat these dolts conflate the iPhone, with the App Store. More to the point (and this is entirely in keeping with these zealots narrow ass world view) they dismiss the hundreds, if not thousands of developers who a) don’t give a shit about “free” software and b) might actually like getting paid for their efforts.
iPhone endorses and supports Digital Restrictions Management (DRM) technology.
More of the same tripe. Waah, waah, the other people won’t join our cult.
iPhone exposes your whereabouts and provides ways for others to track you without your knowledge.
What!?! Now we’re going off the deep end into loony-town. Yes Location Services is exposed to developers. And yes, shit like Loopt is a privacy disaster waiting to happen. But I have it on good authority that the OS asks for confirmation before letting an app use that info; to an annoying degree from what I hear. But wait, there’s a more subtle criticism here. Just above these jackasses were complaining that Apple wasn’t giving developers complete unfettered freedom to do as they choose; and now the fact that developers can access the GPS information is a horrible thing. Get your shit straight you fucking hypocrites. Oh wait, I forgot, “freedom” only counts if it’s freedom to agree with them.
iPhone won’t play patent- and DRM-free formats like Ogg Vorbis and Theora.
Gods, this one again. These wastes of skin say the same thing about the iPod, look how that turned out. Earth to Moonvile, no one cares.
iPhone is not the only option. There are better alternatives on the horizon that respect your freedom, don’t spy on you, play free media formats, and let you use free software — like the FreeRunner.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!. Wait, let me catch my breath. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!. Sorry, there isn’t much I can say about that. The words, they fail me.
So, there’s your five reasons. Two are based on faulty assumptions, two are religious zealotry and one is laughable at best. But the bullshit doesn’t end there. These flabby sacks continue for another few paragraphs with the most retarded zealotry I’ve heard in a while. I could dissect the entire piece, but there’s drinking to be done; so I’ll include one more quote:
Apple, through its marketing and visual design techniques, is manufacturing an illusion that merely buying an Apple makes you part of an alternative community. But the technology they use is explicitly chosen to divide people into separate digital cells, and to position Apple as sole warden. When your business depends on people paying for the privilege of being locked up, the prison better look and feel luxurious, and the bars better not be too visible.
You heard it kiddies, we’re locked in a prison of Apple’s making. I know, it’s the Free Software Foundation; expecting reason is like expecting my dog to sit up and begin reciting Shakespeare, but at least I got to rant for a bit.
As an aside to Gina Trapani and the rest of the Lifehacker crew. I know you Gawker dipshits are all about the hitcount; but leave the iPhone bashing hype for your brethren at the Consumerist. They’re better at it, and it makes more sense coming from them. Stick with your strengths and keep shilling for David Allen.
“iPhone exposes your whereabouts and provides ways for others to track you without your knowledge.”
Stallman has asserted on several occasions that you can be tracked through any cellphone. Even when it’s turned off. He’s not batshit insane. Not at all.
Wow… Apple’s technology is “explicitly chosen to divide people”… these lifehacker fucks sound like they’ve written some George Bush speeches before…
I wonder what they think of the happy minimum security prison that is the Microsoft “ecosystem”? If Apple didn’t have a secure system of okaying iPhone apps, these dumbshits would be complaining that the iPhone is too insecure…
Idiots.
@JB:
To be fair, that’s the FSF saying that not Lifehacker. Lifehacker (like all Gawker properties) is just doing what it takes to keep the hitcount high.
Huh. Except for the claim that Apple hardware doesn’t run software that only exists in their imaginations, all their reasons are (Sorry for my lapse into technical jargon) squirrel jism.
Dear Freetards: Your parents’ basement may be comfortable, but someday you too may be called upon to pay rent and buy groceries. When that happens, you’ll want to be paid for your work assuming you ever do any.
When that happens, you’ll be glad there is a company and a culture that thinks freetards are fuller of shit than a stopped toilet in an abandoned Greyhound depot.
For those of you who haven’t kept up in the student textbook:
STFU = Shut The Fuck Up
Fuck Richard Stallman. (I don’t mean you personally should actually do that so please don’t hate me. I mean, that’s just nasty to even think about.)
I think their point is that Apple has you by the balls when you buy an iPhone. Apple might be wearing a nice cotton glove with very clean hands and a feather grip, but they still have you by the balls. And if you’ll notice, the grip got a little tighter with the release of the iPhone 3G.
I don’t see how you can debate that.
It all needed to be said. Thanks.
Oh man – thank you for this. Love the whole rant, but this tidbit made my whole day.
I emailed these nitwits this morning when I read their totally weird rant.
It’s a pity that there are plenty of the Apple-Hating-Taliban out there that will regurgitate this claptrap though…
@justin:
No, their “point” is that the iPhone doesn’t fit into their narrow dogmatic world view. To which the rest of the non-whackadoo world say, so what. And what sort of bullshit is “…has you by the balls…” it’s a cell phone, not a fucking inalienable civil right.
@justin:
> I don’t see how you can debate that.
I can get rid of my iPhone tomorrow. I just don’t want to. There is, in fact, no Apple thug in jackboots standing outside my house forcing me to keep my iPhone. So, how, again, does Apple have me “by the balls”?
Is there an option for: “Everyone’s a loser”?
The FSF does a lot of good stuff, and the Open Source movement is a great idea. The idea of openness is a wonderful thing and it definitely should be encouraged.
Apple’s platform is very tightly controlled. It does limit what you can do and who can do what. All of that is true.
But the FSF is thinking of the phone as a computer, not as a widget of consumer electronics. Openness breeds complexity- more options are daunting to an end user. Let your average luser try and make an informed choice between Gnome, KDE or Fluxbox, and see what happens.
People don’t particularly want an open phone. They want a simple, easy to use phone that makes key tasks easy. The iPhone does that very well, so people are buying it (and if the local Apple store ever restocks on 16G phones, I’ll be joining their ranks).
Most people don’t care if they can run Open Office on their phone.
@justin:
Oh, and when 20% of their argument is a flat out lie i.e. that Location Services reports your location behind your back; I have a hard time taking any of their arguments seriously.
@justin:
“I think their point is that Apple has you by the balls when you buy an iPhone”
Uh, what phone manufacturer/Carrier in the US doesn’t? Shouldn’t this be “don’t buy a cell phone, keep using the telegraph”?
Why focus on Apple? Oh yeah, because they are publicity whores.
Ok, the location services thing is kind of a frivolous argument, because it applies to just about any phone and the entire wireless industry. But that doesn’t mean it is not bullshit.
@Phoneman:
Uhh, isn’t a two year contract with AT&T and the inability to use it on another carrier kind of like a thug forcing you to keep your iPhone? Just sayin’.
@TheIndustry
You can run any number of phones of comparable price, unlocked, without a contract on T-Mobile or (presumably) AT&T. Some of them even have a webkit-based browser.
@justin:
What complete and utter entitlement bullshit. Last time I checked no one was forcing you to buy the gods damned thing.
And, while were at it, let me check my copy of the Declaration of Independence. Lesse, Life, Liberty, Pursuit of Happiness; but no mention of an iPhone. I guess old Tommy J. just forgot that.
You don’t like the iPhone, don’t fucking buy it.
Just sayin’.
Pull your head out of Jobs’ colon, Mactard.
me, i think the ugly-as-f*ck screenshot/photo of their “FreeRunner” says it all…
Stop using the word ‘tripe’
@Sebhelyesfarku:
Suck a dick, freetard.
So, the basic premises are wrong anyway – here’s a post I made to /. yesterday:
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=617555&cid=24232891
… there’s nothing preventing open-source apps on the iphone.
lol freetard ur helareus
the point is , the iphone is GREAT but DRM is NOT GOOD FOR CONSUMER !
get it ?
and yeah, I fucking hate DRM files telling me I can’t use it on my family computer or works computer or whatever.
and YEAH , I fucking hate too I can’t program as I want on MY iphone.
-
and yes it’s true iphone is a really easy and nice phone, internet device and music player.
-
ho, and these filthy insane fuck gay-hetero-bisexual daemons beast putrid blasphemous indicible “freetards” are those working on many insides of Mac os X and iphone.
so yes, you can insult them, beat them and spit on them.
Why we should care about people creating software at all ? do the same to Apple to. fuck their engineers !…
very sad.
@justin
The point is that total control by the vendor isn’t anything new in the phone ecosystem and people are used to it.
People also expect phones to ‘just work’ which is what Apple are good at getting right. From what I’ve heard about some of the OpenMoko alternatives, they don’t just work and if Linux is anything to go by, it will be years before the design by committee approach comes up with something as simple and elegant as the iPhone.
On the iPhone being closed: The iPhone is very much wide open, as long as you dare to void our warranty. Your dishwasher may even become a drum machine if you reach the FPGA and reprogram it, you’ll just void your warranty of course.
The same for iPod, that’s what iPodLinux is made for, do what you want with the device.
The way the default iPhone OS is locked makes me just comfortable for the fact that apps cannot bypass security measures, like filesystem sandboxing and gps/other hardware access. Apps in the default system just can’t do very much damage.
Since the mind-90s, any day now, free software has been supposed to stop sucking for users. It hasn’t yet. Show me non-shit products I can actually use today, and I’ll use them. To whit, Firefox. It’s silly to live in some imaginary fantasy-land of future software that never materialized.
(And nope, Ubuntu doesn’t not suck. Anarok also doesn’t not suck.)
OS X pounds Linux in every way I care about.
(Yeah, free software is great for behind the scenes infrastructure stuff and for programming tools.)
@Simon :
the iphone even uses Free software inside (mostly the whole unix layer and Webkit).
it’s not the problem. the problem is, you are forced to use itunes to get software. so, by definition, there are no freedom beside Apple.
-
and, itunes app store is clearly, the best way to get and install software I saw for any device. pretty impressive.
We can understand the reason apple want to impose itunes (avoid virus, missteps and mischievous people sending bad applications) but in the same time, you loose what you can do on a mac or pc.
-
so , it’s all about different priorities. Some people care more about uses than easiness. others want More.
not complicate. and not insane to understand. There are no Bad Guy to kick and insult.
@oomu: No, DRM is not good for the consumer. If you purchase apps through the app store, sadly, you’re stuck with it.
But odds are, you’re only trying to put those DRMed files on a very small set of Apple branded devices- unlike an MP3, which should work anywhere, these are obviously bound to OSX Mobile.
And, correct me if I’m wrong: the SDK is a free download, you can load apps onto a test device with it, but you have to pay a $99 fee to actually host them in the App Store. Doesn’t that imply that you can program how you want on your phone?
And, you can STILL jailbreak your phone. So to say you can’t use your device how you like is still not true. You can’t use your device how you like and get Apple to play along, but it’s retarded to expect such a thing anyway.
Apple cannot stop you from jailbreaking your phone. Apple doesn’t want to stop you from jailbreaking your phone, because they just want you to buy the damn phone. With the new must-activate model, they also guarantee that AT&T gets their pound of flesh no matter what you do when it comes to unlocking.
@oomu: But you aren’t forced to get it from the App Store. You can also jailbreak your phone.
@oomu:
Gods damn it, I won’t tolerate any reasonableness here!
These FSF people are idiots. Their five “reasons” are all bullshit, factually wrong in every case.
An Apple “tax” on free apps? Uh, no. Developers can put them on the App Store for free, and users download them for free.
And DRM does not stand for “Digital Restrictions Management,” but rather, “Digital Rights Management.” Both the iPod and the iPhone play lots of DRM-free file formats–just not the specific formats the FSF idiots cite (formats that no one uses anyway).
And all that “prison” talk? WTF? Have any of these people ever actually been to prison? Um, yeah — like, maybe they should just not buy an iPhone if they don’t like it?
Sounds to me like a bunch of fools who can’t afford an iPhone thinking up reasons why no one else should have one, either.
I have been quietly stewing over the FSF “announcement” since I read it. They’re completely, totally clueless. The only point that might even have merit is the “DRM is bad!”, and he immediately blames Steve Jobs personally for the labels refusing to drop DRM. Riiight.
Anyway, now I think I can let my rant die on the vine.
> More to the point … they dismiss the hundreds, if not thousands of developers who a) don’t give a shit about “free” software and b) might actually like getting paid for their efforts.
“Free” software is not about not being paid for making it
Why, that would be because the iPhone is neither a fucking Mac nor a fucking Wintel computer. It’s a smartphone. It does a lot, but it’s not a fucking full-blown general purpose computer.
I can put 3 big ass video cards in my wife’s Mac Pro, can I do that in an iPhone? No.
I can add dozens of USB and FireWire devices to an iMac or a Mac Mini. Can i do that with an iPhone? No.
Why?
Well, it’s not because Steve Jobs and Apple aren’t marching lockstep to that folk dancing retard’s song of judgemental stupidity.
It’s because they’re DIFFERENT FUCKING THINGS. Apple, Orange, Pear, Dildo. One of these things is not like the other…
For fuck’s sake is it even possible for the freetards to not bitch that a car is not a condor?
@Lol:
Way to miss the point there chief.
@oomu
Did you *read* the contents of the link I gave ? Where I downloaded the source-code of an application, compiled it, and installed it onto my phone without going anywhere near the app-store ?
It is *easy* to distribute open-source apps for the phone without using the app-store. The FSF piece is pure FUD, which is sad. I think they let their politics get in the way of their research before writing the piece, and my opinion of them as an organisation has suffered because of that.
@Simon
Of course the freetards aren’t going to acknowledge the reality of jailbroken phones et al, because then they lose hit counts.
The only reason they even published this is because ragging on the iPhone gets you attention, and with people realizing that Open Source does not in fact require you to be part of the Stallmanolgy cult, and Torvalds telling Stallman and the FSF to go fuck themselves on a regular basis, they’re starting to feel a little insignificant.
I’m still waiting for them to eventually admit that the only purpose they serve is a collection point for whining entitlement queens.
AT&T is complicit with illegal spying by the worst administration in history, and these guys are worried about the lack of open source software on the phone using their network?
The forces of evil in our country are gleefully watching as organizations like this one waste their time and resources on completely unimportant and, frankly, stupid causes.
@JCW
But this isn’t even with a jailbroken iphone. This is official apple-supported policy! It’s all legit – you just use the ad-hoc certificate rather than the distribution certificate. Since you’re distributing source-code, each developer can sign the program *while* they compile the code, with their *own* ad-hoc certificate. That’s it – the resulting binary will work on the developer’s iphone.
Honestly, I don’t think Apple could have bent over much farther…
@Simon
Oh yeah, I forgot about that one. But again, why would the FSF let reality get in the way of their attention-whoring.
@Gene:
Thank you. Want a reason to boycott the iPhone; that’s one I could understand. Oddly, the FSF doesn’t seem to have an opinion on FISA. I guess the spying is OK as long as you use Linux to do it from.
note, the GNU/ prefix was intentionally omitted to annoy Richard Stallman
@Gene: Now THAT’S a valid complaint.
Don’t forget about us thugs who prefer Chinese slippers to jackboots. There’s a lot of us out here.
@Angry Drunk
Fuck that “GNU/Linux” shit. GNU makes tools. Good ones, and that’s honorable. But just like I don’t own a “Makita/Toyota” or a “Snap-On/Chevy”, it’s not GNU Linux.
Stallman wants an OS with his name on it, maybe he should, you know, FINISH HURD.
But that would require him to do, you know, actual work.
@John C. Welch: I HURD that was just vaporware, and always would be.
//And the hardware isn’t quite there for a true microkernel yet.
I just bought a Sunbeam toaster oven, and, man, does Sunbeam have me by the balls!
Say I want to make toast in my Frigidaire refrigerator — no dice. Maytag dishwasher? Nice try.
And it’s not just toast. It’s cheese toast, cinnamon toast, the occasional toasted bagel, you name it.
So it also comes with this little baking pan. Great, I also can use this in the microwave, right? NO! This damned proprietary pan is made of metal and will explode and give me genital herpes if it comes near any other appliance!
Not only that, if I take it to my friend’s house and try to put it in his Black & Decker toaster oven … it’s too wide. Won’t fit at all.
When it comes to my toasting needs, Sunbeam has the whole gig locked up. It’s like those bastards want to divide us.
So basically this blog is one reactionary swearing prolifically at people who disagree with him, with his fanboys following suit?
The argument you’ve laid out is a total joke, you’d be laughed out of a high school debate for trying to put forward this kind of “reasoning” and the only reason your commenters can’t see that is because their minds are so poorly stimulated that they are titillated by almost-clever swearing.
Whine about the FSF but at least they have the discipline (and education?) to outline a real argument with structured points. What you do is name-calling, but you haven’t rebutted any of their points, you’ve just laughed at them. Probably hastily and out of ignorance.
@47itchy Awesome!
So when my freerunner throws up a “no space on device /usr/bin” black screen of death, what number does my Mom/Dad/Girlfriend/Boyfriend not “build from source” friend call for support?
Oh yeah, none.
I’ll just tell them to log onto alt.bin.phone.open.moko.help.help.help and wait 24-48 hours for a solution.
also, fuck OGG and fuck theora, nobody gives a shit about your free formats. I could distribute a book on microfiche for free, doesn’t mean anyone would use it.
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