How Did I Miss This Tripe?

July 16th, 2008

. And what tripe am I writ­ing about? Well, another “Don’t buy an iPhone” shit-piece from none other than the unwashed free­tards at the Free Software Foundation

iPhone com­pletely blocks free soft­ware. Developers must pay a tax to Apple, who becomes the sole author­ity over what can and can’t be on everyone’s phones.

Really? I guess it sucks to be in the iPhone hack­ing com­mu­nity. I mean, I don’t like you dorks and you don’t like me; but I at least acknowl­edge that you exist. Right off the bat these dolts con­flate the iPhone, with the App Store. More to the point (and this is entirely in keep­ing with these zealots nar­row ass world view) they dis­miss the hun­dreds, if not thou­sands of devel­op­ers who a) don’t give a shit about “free” soft­ware and b) might actu­ally like get­ting paid for their efforts.

iPhone endorses and sup­ports Digital Restrictions Management (DRM) technology.

iPhone exposes your where­abouts and pro­vides ways for oth­ers to track you with­out your knowledge.

iPhone won’t play patent– and DRM-free for­mats like Ogg Vorbis and Theora.

Gods, this one again. These wastes of skin say the same thing about the iPod, look how that turned out. Earth to Moonvile, no one cares.

iPhone is not the only option. There are bet­ter alter­na­tives on the hori­zon that respect your free­dom, don’t spy on you, play free media for­mats, and let you use free soft­ware — like the FreeRunner.

Apple, through its mar­ket­ing and visual design tech­niques, is man­u­fac­tur­ing an illu­sion that merely buy­ing an Apple makes you part of an alter­na­tive com­mu­nity. But the tech­nol­ogy they use is explic­itly cho­sen to divide peo­ple into sep­a­rate dig­i­tal cells, and to posi­tion Apple as sole war­den. When your busi­ness depends on peo­ple pay­ing for the priv­i­lege of being locked up, the prison bet­ter look and feel lux­u­ri­ous, and the bars bet­ter not be too visible.

You heard it kid­dies, we’re locked in a prison of Apple’s mak­ing. I know, it’s the Free Software Foundation; expect­ing rea­son is like expect­ing my dog to sit up and begin recit­ing Shakespeare, but at least I got to rant for a bit.

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  • sng

    “iPhone exposes your where­abouts and pro­vides ways for oth­ers to track you with­out your knowledge.”

    Stallman has asserted on sev­eral occa­sions that you can be tracked through any cell­phone. Even when it’s turned off. He’s not bat­shit insane. Not at all.

  • sng

    “iPhone exposes your where­abouts and pro­vides ways for oth­ers to track you with­out your knowledge.”

    Stallman has asserted on sev­eral occa­sions that you can be tracked through any cell­phone. Even when it’s turned off. He’s not bat­shit insane. Not at all.

  • JB

    Wow… Apple’s tech­nol­ogy is “explic­itly cho­sen to divide peo­ple”… these life­hacker fucks sound like they’ve writ­ten some George Bush speeches before…

    I won­der what they think of the happy min­i­mum secu­rity prison that is the Microsoft “ecosys­tem”? If Apple didn’t have a secure sys­tem of okay­ing iPhone apps, these dumb­shits would be com­plain­ing that the iPhone is too insecure…

    Idiots.

  • JB

    Wow… Apple’s tech­nol­ogy is “explic­itly cho­sen to divide peo­ple”… these life­hacker fucks sound like they’ve writ­ten some George Bush speeches before…

    I won­der what they think of the happy min­i­mum secu­rity prison that is the Microsoft “ecosys­tem”? If Apple didn’t have a secure sys­tem of okay­ing iPhone apps, these dumb­shits would be com­plain­ing that the iPhone is too insecure…

    Idiots.

  • http://www.theangrydrunk.com The Angry Drunk

    @JB: To be fair, that’s the FSF say­ing that not Lifehacker. Lifehacker (like all Gawker prop­er­ties) is just doing what it takes to keep the hit­count high.

  • http://www.theangrydrunk.com The Angry Drunk

    @JB: To be fair, that’s the FSF say­ing that not Lifehacker. Lifehacker (like all Gawker prop­er­ties) is just doing what it takes to keep the hit­count high.

  • http://ripragged.blogspot.com Anonymous

    Huh. Except for the claim that Apple hard­ware doesn’t run soft­ware that only exists in their imag­i­na­tions, all their rea­sons are (Sorry for my lapse into tech­ni­cal jar­gon) squir­rel jism.

    Dear Freetards: Your par­ents’ base­ment may be com­fort­able, but some­day you too may be called upon to pay rent and buy gro­ceries. When that hap­pens, you’ll want to be paid for your work assum­ing you ever do any.

    When that hap­pens, you’ll be glad there is a com­pany and a cul­ture that thinks free­tards are fuller of shit than a stopped toi­let in an aban­doned Greyhound depot.

    For those of you who haven’t kept up in the stu­dent textbook:

    STFU = Shut The Fuck Up

  • http://ripragged.com/dross Rip Ragged

    Huh. Except for the claim that Apple hard­ware doesn’t run soft­ware that only exists in their imag­i­na­tions, all their rea­sons are (Sorry for my lapse into tech­ni­cal jar­gon) squir­rel jism.

    Dear Freetards: Your par­ents’ base­ment may be com­fort­able, but some­day you too may be called upon to pay rent and buy gro­ceries. When that hap­pens, you’ll want to be paid for your work assum­ing you ever do any.

    When that hap­pens, you’ll be glad there is a com­pany and a cul­ture that thinks free­tards are fuller of shit than a stopped toi­let in an aban­doned Greyhound depot.

    For those of you who haven’t kept up in the stu­dent textbook:

    STFU = Shut The Fuck Up

  • http://ripragged.blogspot.com Anonymous

    Fuck Richard Stallman. (I don’t mean you per­son­ally should actu­ally do that so please don’t hate me. I mean, that’s just nasty to even think about.)

  • http://ripragged.com/dross Rip Ragged

    Fuck Richard Stallman. (I don’t mean you per­son­ally should actu­ally do that so please don’t hate me. I mean, that’s just nasty to even think about.)

  • http://fiddlyio.com/ justin

    I think their point is that Apple has you by the balls when you buy an iPhone. Apple might be wear­ing a nice cot­ton glove with very clean hands and a feather grip, but they still have you by the balls. And if you’ll notice, the grip got a lit­tle tighter with the release of the iPhone 3G.

    I don’t see how you can debate that.

  • bkhar­mony

    It all needed to be said. Thanks.

  • http://fiddlyio.com/ justin

    I think their point is that Apple has you by the balls when you buy an iPhone. Apple might be wear­ing a nice cot­ton glove with very clean hands and a feather grip, but they still have you by the balls. And if you’ll notice, the grip got a lit­tle tighter with the release of the iPhone 3G.

    I don’t see how you can debate that.

  • bkhar­mony

    It all needed to be said. Thanks.

  • http://grantblakeman.com Grant
    “Gods, this one again. These wastes of skin say the same thing about the iPod, look how that turned out. Earth to Moonvile, no one cares.”

    Oh man — thank you for this. Love the whole rant, but this tid­bit made my whole day.

  • http://grantblakeman.com Grant
    “Gods, this one again. These wastes of skin say the same thing about the iPod, look how that turned out. Earth to Moonvile, no one cares.”

    Oh man — thank you for this. Love the whole rant, but this tid­bit made my whole day.

  • Jon T

    I emailed these nitwits this morn­ing when I read their totally weird rant.

    It’s a pity that there are plenty of the Apple-Hating-Taliban out there that will regur­gi­tate this clap­trap though…

  • Jon T

    I emailed these nitwits this morn­ing when I read their totally weird rant.

    It’s a pity that there are plenty of the Apple-Hating-Taliban out there that will regur­gi­tate this clap­trap though…

  • http://www.theangrydrunk.com The Angry Drunk

    @justin: No, their “point” is that the iPhone doesn’t fit into their nar­row dog­matic world view. To which the rest of the non-whackadoo world say, so what. And what sort of bull­shit is “…has you by the balls…” it’s a cell phone, not a fuck­ing inalien­able civil right.

  • http://www.theangrydrunk.com The Angry Drunk

    @justin: No, their “point” is that the iPhone doesn’t fit into their nar­row dog­matic world view. To which the rest of the non-whackadoo world say, so what. And what sort of bull­shit is “…has you by the balls…” it’s a cell phone, not a fuck­ing inalien­able civil right.

  • http://apple.com/iphone/ Phoneman

    @justin:

    I can get rid of my iPhone tomor­row. I just don’t want to. There is, in fact, no Apple thug in jack­boots stand­ing out­side my house forc­ing me to keep my iPhone. So, how, again, does Apple have me “by the balls”?

  • http://apple.com/iphone/ Phoneman

    @justin:

    I can get rid of my iPhone tomor­row. I just don’t want to. There is, in fact, no Apple thug in jack­boots stand­ing out­side my house forc­ing me to keep my iPhone. So, how, again, does Apple have me “by the balls”?

  • http://awesomethingoftheday.tumblr.com/ Remy Porter

    Is there an option for: “Everyone’s a loser”?

    The FSF does a lot of good stuff, and the Open Source move­ment is a great idea. The idea of open­ness is a won­der­ful thing and it def­i­nitely should be encouraged.

    Apple’s plat­form is very tightly con­trolled. It does limit what you can do and who can do what. All of that is true.

    But the FSF is think­ing of the phone as a com­puter, not as a wid­get of con­sumer elec­tron­ics. Openness breeds com­plex­ity– more options are daunt­ing to an end user. Let your aver­age luser try and make an informed choice between Gnome, KDE or Fluxbox, and see what happens.

    People don’t par­tic­u­larly want an open phone. They want a sim­ple, easy to use phone that makes key tasks easy. The iPhone does that very well, so peo­ple are buy­ing it (and if the local Apple store ever restocks on 16G phones, I’ll be join­ing their ranks).

    Most peo­ple don’t care if they can run Open Office on their phone.

  • http://www.theangrydrunk.com The Angry Drunk

    @justin: Oh, and when 20% of their argu­ment is a flat out lie i.e. that Location Services reports your loca­tion behind your back; I have a hard time tak­ing any of their argu­ments seriously.

  • TheIndustry

    @justin: “I think their point is that Apple has you by the balls when you buy an iPhone”

    Uh, what phone manufacturer/Carrier in the US doesn’t? Shouldn’t this be “don’t buy a cell phone, keep using the telegraph”?

    Why focus on Apple? Oh yeah, because they are pub­lic­ity whores.

  • http://t3knomanser.livejournal.com t3knomanser

    Is there an option for: “Everyone’s a loser”?

    The FSF does a lot of good stuff, and the Open Source move­ment is a great idea. The idea of open­ness is a won­der­ful thing and it def­i­nitely should be encouraged.

    Apple’s plat­form is very tightly con­trolled. It does limit what you can do and who can do what. All of that is true.

    But the FSF is think­ing of the phone as a com­puter, not as a wid­get of con­sumer elec­tron­ics. Openness breeds com­plex­ity– more options are daunt­ing to an end user. Let your aver­age luser try and make an informed choice between Gnome, KDE or Fluxbox, and see what happens.

    People don’t par­tic­u­larly want an open phone. They want a sim­ple, easy to use phone that makes key tasks easy. The iPhone does that very well, so peo­ple are buy­ing it (and if the local Apple store ever restocks on 16G phones, I’ll be join­ing their ranks).

    Most peo­ple don’t care if they can run Open Office on their phone.

  • http://www.theangrydrunk.com The Angry Drunk

    @justin: Oh, and when 20% of their argu­ment is a flat out lie i.e. that Location Services reports your loca­tion behind your back; I have a hard time tak­ing any of their argu­ments seriously.

  • TheIndustry

    @justin: “I think their point is that Apple has you by the balls when you buy an iPhone”

    Uh, what phone manufacturer/Carrier in the US doesn’t? Shouldn’t this be “don’t buy a cell phone, keep using the telegraph”?

    Why focus on Apple? Oh yeah, because they are pub­lic­ity whores.

  • http://fiddlyio.com/ justin

    Ok, the loca­tion ser­vices thing is kind of a friv­o­lous argu­ment, because it applies to just about any phone and the entire wire­less indus­try. But that doesn’t mean it is not bullshit.

    @Phoneman: Uhh, isn’t a two year con­tract with AT&T and the inabil­ity to use it on another car­rier kind of like a thug forc­ing you to keep your iPhone? Just sayin’.

  • http://fiddlyio.com/ justin

    Ok, the loca­tion ser­vices thing is kind of a friv­o­lous argu­ment, because it applies to just about any phone and the entire wire­less indus­try. But that doesn’t mean it is not bullshit.

    @Phoneman: Uhh, isn’t a two year con­tract with AT&T and the inabil­ity to use it on another car­rier kind of like a thug forc­ing you to keep your iPhone? Just sayin’.

  • http://fiddlyio.com/ justin

    @TheIndustry

    You can run any num­ber of phones of com­pa­ra­ble price, unlocked, with­out a con­tract on T-Mobile or (pre­sum­ably) AT&T. Some of them even have a webkit-based browser.

  • http://fiddlyio.com/ justin

    @TheIndustry

    You can run any num­ber of phones of com­pa­ra­ble price, unlocked, with­out a con­tract on T-Mobile or (pre­sum­ably) AT&T. Some of them even have a webkit-based browser.

  • http://www.theangrydrunk.com The Angry Drunk

    @justin:

    What com­plete and utter enti­tle­ment bull­shit. Last time I checked no one was forc­ing you to buy the gods damned thing.

    And, while were at it, let me check my copy of the Declaration of Independence. Lesse, Life, Liberty, Pursuit of Happiness; but no men­tion of an iPhone. I guess old Tommy J. just for­got that.

    You don’t like the iPhone, don’t fuck­ing buy it. Just sayin’.

  • Sebhelyesfarku

    Pull your head out of Jobs’ colon, Mactard.

  • http://www.theangrydrunk.com The Angry Drunk

    @justin:

    What com­plete and utter enti­tle­ment bull­shit. Last time I checked no one was forc­ing you to buy the gods damned thing.

    And, while were at it, let me check my copy of the Declaration of Independence. Lesse, Life, Liberty, Pursuit of Happiness; but no men­tion of an iPhone. I guess old Tommy J. just for­got that.

    You don’t like the iPhone, don’t fuck­ing buy it. Just sayin’.

  • Sebhelyesfarku

    Pull your head out of Jobs’ colon, Mactard.

  • http://twitter.com/dwarfland dwarfland

    me, i think the ugly-as-f*ck screenshot/photo of their “FreeRunner” says it all…

  • lkjkj

    Stop using the word ‘tripe’

  • http://twitter.com/dwarfland dwarfland

    me, i think the ugly-as-f*ck screenshot/photo of their “FreeRunner” says it all…

  • lkjkj

    Stop using the word ‘tripe’

  • http://www.theangrydrunk.com The Angry Drunk

    @Sebhelyesfarku: Suck a dick, freetard.

  • http://www.theangrydrunk.com The Angry Drunk

    @Sebhelyesfarku: Suck a dick, freetard.

  • http://blog.gornall.net/ Simon

    So, the basic premises are wrong any­way — here’s a post I made to /. yesterday:

    http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=617555&cid=24232891

    … there’s noth­ing pre­vent­ing open-source apps on the iphone.

  • http://blog.gornall.net/ Simon

    So, the basic premises are wrong any­way — here’s a post I made to /. yesterday:

    http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=617555&cid=24232891

    … there’s noth­ing pre­vent­ing open-source apps on the iphone.

  • Kevin Smith wannabe

    lol free­tard ur helareus

  • Kevin Smith wannabe

    lol free­tard ur helareus

  • oomu

    the point is , the iphone is GREAT but DRM is NOT GOOD FOR CONSUMER !

    get it ?

    and yeah, I fuck­ing hate DRM files telling me I can’t use it on my fam­ily com­puter or works com­puter or whatever.

    and YEAH , I fuck­ing hate too I can’t pro­gram as I want on MY iphone.

    – and yes it’s true iphone is a really easy and nice phone, inter­net device and music player.

    – ho, and these filthy insane fuck gay-hetero-bisexual dae­mons beast putrid blas­phe­mous indi­ci­ble “free­tards” are those work­ing on many insides of Mac os X and iphone.

    so yes, you can insult them, beat them and spit on them.

    Why we should care about peo­ple cre­at­ing soft­ware at all ? do the same to Apple to. fuck their engineers !…

    very sad.

  • oomu

    the point is , the iphone is GREAT but DRM is NOT GOOD FOR CONSUMER !

    get it ?

    and yeah, I fuck­ing hate DRM files telling me I can’t use it on my fam­ily com­puter or works com­puter or whatever.

    and YEAH , I fuck­ing hate too I can’t pro­gram as I want on MY iphone.

    – and yes it’s true iphone is a really easy and nice phone, inter­net device and music player.

    – ho, and these filthy insane fuck gay-hetero-bisexual dae­mons beast putrid blas­phe­mous indi­ci­ble “free­tards” are those work­ing on many insides of Mac os X and iphone.

    so yes, you can insult them, beat them and spit on them.

    Why we should care about peo­ple cre­at­ing soft­ware at all ? do the same to Apple to. fuck their engineers !…

    very sad.

  • Jamie

    @justin

    The point is that total con­trol by the ven­dor isn’t any­thing new in the phone ecosys­tem and peo­ple are used to it.

    People also expect phones to ‘just work’ which is what Apple are good at get­ting right. From what I’ve heard about some of the OpenMoko alter­na­tives, they don’t just work and if Linux is any­thing to go by, it will be years before the design by com­mit­tee approach comes up with some­thing as sim­ple and ele­gant as the iPhone.

  • Jamie

    @justin

    The point is that total con­trol by the ven­dor isn’t any­thing new in the phone ecosys­tem and peo­ple are used to it.

    People also expect phones to ‘just work’ which is what Apple are good at get­ting right. From what I’ve heard about some of the OpenMoko alter­na­tives, they don’t just work and if Linux is any­thing to go by, it will be years before the design by com­mit­tee approach comes up with some­thing as sim­ple and ele­gant as the iPhone.

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