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Gods Damn It I Hate Slashdot!

The commentary in this Slashdot is a prime example of why I swear, as Zoroaster as my witness, if I ever get elected as despot of this great land; I will fucking round up every last gods damned nerd who’s ever posted on Slashdot, Engadget, or Ars Techica, along with every fucking mouthbreather who’s ever said the phrase “GNU/Linux” and line them up against a wall and shoot them in the back of the head.  Gods you fuckers make me angry.

Let’s Kill All the Analysts!

Sorry Will, it’s not the lawyers who need to go up against the wall; it’s the Wall Street ‘analysts;’ especially those who cover technology. I want a job where I can pull some overly inflated ‘expected sales’ out of my ass; and when the product in question fails to meet the target that I, not the actually company selling the product, set for it; I can write up a retarded screed on how sales are ‘slipping’ to drive more hits to my master’s website. And yes, I know that I’m not citing any actual sources here; but I’ll be fucked raw before I send one click to these fucking leeches’ sites.  ps.Fuck you Forbes.com  for having not only a site load intersitial, but a Flash adds with audio on thour damned site.  That shit was a dick-move in 2001 and it’s a dick-move now.

Wikipedia Sucks

I may, or may not I’m fickle that way, write up a larger piece on the manifold problems with Wikipedia.  In the meantime I highly suggest reading some of the criticism at Wikipedia Review and Wikipedia Watch.  

Apple Announces, “Steve Jobs Had Fish for Dinner.” Stock Prices Plummet

Seriously, if i had the free scratch, I could make a bundle buying low every time the market panics over Apple doing, well, anything.

What the Shit!?!

There is no part of this story from The Consumerist that I don’t find amusing. How pathetic is it to steal a pill that just makes you crap yourself when you eat that second Texas Double Whopper. Here’s an idea, eat less, then you can afford the pills; but wait, then you won’t need the pills. I guess there are worse implications…what if greasy fat-person shit is an up-and-coming ingredient in meth? The mind boggles.

TSA Confiscates Water Bottle, Misses Bomb

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Legalize Tobacco Now

Funny (to me at least) story from Wired. Apparently nicotine is the new wonder drug. Two questions: will the persecution end so I can smoke a fucking cigar in peace? And will the hippies add tobacco to their list of things to legalize alongside “hemp?” And yeah, I got this via Slashdot; but I’ll be fucked if I’m going to link to those nerdlingers.

Tanqueray Rangpur Is Some Tasty Fucking Gin!

I’ve always had a fondess for The Gin; usually in the form of an ice cold Bombay Saphire and Tonic. But after a recomendation from the hep cats over at The Real Happy Hour I picked up a bottle of Tanqueray Rangpur Gin. Gods damn this is a tasty Gin. I think I’m going to have one right now.