Well, this weekend was utter shit. Let’s keep the preamble short and get on to the bitchin’
Part The First, Wherein The Angry Drunk Is Fucked By Bureaucratic Fuckwittery
The first hit came Saturday morning at the Motor Vehicle Department. To provide some background, I do not have a driver’s license. There are reasons for this, which I won’t go into now, but the bottom line is that I don’t have a license. Now, after a year of twice daily twenty mile bus rides I’ve decided to rectify the situation. So, after much wrangling to set up a time when someone with a working vehicle can accompany me on my quest, I schlepp my weary ass to the MDV Saturday morning.
I’ll spare the incipient multi-page rant about the two gang-bangers who cut me off while they too were on the way to the MVD, but finally we arrived and entered to survey the carnage. Actually, it wasn’t too bad for a change. The room wasn’t standing room only, and the front line was about 6 people. So we shuffled forward, and eventually I reached the counter and informed the drone on duty that I needed to take my road test. Then the fateful words were uttered, “Do you have an appointment?”
“Um, no,” I replied, “when the fuck did you have to start making appointments?”
“Oh, that started May first.”
The drone then informed me that I could call in (bitch wouldn’t give me the number to call though) and make an appointment for Tuesday, Wednesday or Saturday the next week. I refrained form pointing out exactly how inconveniencing that was, and left the temple of Moloch before my blood pressure could spike any higher. I suppose that there are those that would make some shitty comment that I should have called ahead. For those fuck-nozzles, let me point the following things out:
- The AZ MVD hasn’t required appointments for at least 15 years
- I did check the MVD website before setting out, just in case they had decided to fuck something up.
Part The Second, Wherein The Angry Drunk’s Best Friend Get’s Fucked By A Bitchy Boss
First some background. My friend Vicki has been working at the El Dorado Bar in Scottsdale for the last eight months. In that time she’s butted heads a few times with the owner, but never anything major. Vicki’s other job is as a stunt woman, you can view her credits over at her IMDB profile. Last week she got a gig working on the film The Kingdom which meant that she was going to need time off last week and possibly the next one.
So, Saturday I’m home from the MVD, trying to calm down when I get a text message. It’s Vicki letting me know that her boss has fired her for supposedly not asking for time off for the movie. Now, this is bullshit, since I know for a fact that Vicki has told everyone that she go this gig, and that she specifically asked for the time off. It’s basically just the boss being a royal bitch. Needless to say, Vicki’s upset, I’m pissed for my friend; and, even worse, I’m going to have to find a new place to get drunk, again. I guess that the bright side is, I won’t have to take a cab to Scottsdale and back 4 times a week.
Maybe I should reconsider the license.…